Hello:smilewave I have a bit of a problem that I'm trying to resolve. Okay, so, I like my best friend and to me, that's super wrong, like, out of all the people in the world, my best friend, who I would give my life for without thinking twice! The person who I am meant to support and always be there with through the thick and thin. It feels like I've betrayed her. She has a lot going on, she's stressed out, and I know that if I keep on liking her it'll only stress her out more because she doesn't feel that way about me. Last week I ended up telling her that I was starting to like her more than as a friend, and I told her to give me some physical space since we can't exactly avoid each other (we have camp together and I take her and bring her back from it). Honestly, today it was like normal (apart from me feeling like crap and trying to hide it. I lied that I was just feeling sick) and it was awful, I couldn't stop thinking that I was rejected. At first I felt relieved that I was, since I could give up without any hope inside of me, but now I just feel crushed and I want to cry and scream out how unfair the world is...I'm so disgusted with myself--I don't even know why I'm giving myself such a hard time with liking my best friend, but it just seems so wrong in my eyes to like her out of all the people. To be honest I just want to forget, I want to find someone who'll help me forget. Haha, right now I just wished she'd feel jealous seeing me with someone else....I'm going crazy. Is there any way at all for me to forget, to just stop feeling like this? A part of me wants to fight for her, but in my mind I know that it's useless and unfair to her. Sorry, such a silly little problem of mine, huh? ^^U But I seriously feel like fucking shit.
I'm sorry you're going through that. Liking your friend is always hard to deal with. I remember how awkward it can be. At least you were brave enough to tell her how you feel, I never got to do that. As far as trying to forget about it, it is pretty hard to do. It does, however, get easier to gradually just not really think about it anymore. Doing your favorite hobbies always helps take your mind off of things, even if it's temporary at first. Photography is always my go to hobby. I wrote some poems to express how I felt at the time. Reading a good book is always a great escape too! Find things you enjoy. It may not do the job at helping you forget, but at least you will feel a little happier doing something you enjoy. If you need someone to talk to, I'd be happy to help (*hug*)
Thank you I've been getting better, but today another friend of mine told me to keep loving her, 'cause I never knew if she would one day love me back. I thought I had a bit of possibility since she's not fully straight, but I know her, and I knew that was never going to happen. This really caught me off guard, I just never thought I'd like her that way D: I just want to be loved, have a nice relationship, but...a) I'm not all that attractive, b) I don't really know any lesbians other than some of my friends. Haha, sorry, now I'm just rambling on about my problems ^^U But thank you, for hearing me out and giving advice, I really appreciate it.
