What to expect from a therapist?

Well every therapist is going to be different, but really it depends on what you go to them for.

I mean if I go to a therapist and tell him I'm struggling with social anxiety, I'm going to be treated differently than someone who goes to the same therapist for say, anger management or sexual addiction or something!

They are there to help you understand your thoughts and to try and work through anything that holds you back mentally...

Yes it does involve talking and opening up and letting yourself be vulnerable, but you (most likely) won't be expected to go in and just open up straight away!

Chances are they will ask you how they can help you, and you can tell them in the most basic terms what you think the problems are.

They might ask you questions, or let if you start talking and get into something they may analyse it...they might teach you coping mechanisms and strategies...all sorts!

 

What do you think you just did exactly?

Fair enough, you haven't opened up very far, but you've just told me (and potentially a forum of other people) exactly how you feel about your current situation.

You've told me that you find it difficult to open up until it gets to the point where you can't keep it in.

You've told me that you are worried that you can't get help for these issues.

You've told me you are scared of seeking help.

You haven't told me much, but you've given me a place to start from. You've given me things to think about and allowed me to think of ways that I could potentially help you to ease into revealing more details.

And I'm not a therapist. I'm just Holly. Random, forum dwelling Holly.

Therapists are trained to do exactly what I've just said with much less. Some people find it really hard to open up, I know I do, and that is exactly what therapists are trained to deal with. You know why? Because half the time, the people who find it EASY to open up have spoken about and dealt with their problems before they really sink in. It's those of us that can't just open up that really need the help.

Obviously the more you reveal the easier it is for your therapist and the more help they can be, BUT they key to therapy is being comfortable. Because if you're not comfortable, you're not going to talk.

If getting comfortable means you reveal little bits every so often, and hide the rest away, then it's something you'll have to do.

 

You know what, going to therapy was, and still is the most nerve racking thing I do, and I really like and trust my counsellor and therapist.

It's scary knowing you are putting yourself into a position of vulnerability and letting someone else in to your head. Just remember that being nervous about it, isn't a reflection on you, it's a reality of the situation.

Anybody who goes to therapy and says they are not nervous is either lying, or hiding everything.

 

Then hopefully this will help.

Know that from the minute you walk into that room, you are in control. You decide what you share, and how much. You decide what you want to speak about and you can decide when to stop speaking.

 

Well, you don't need to be nervous about the therapist. This is your journey you are going on, the therapist is a guide. As you talk about what's bothering you they will make suggestions, point out things you may not have considered, ask you to conduct some experiments, things like that. Sometimes we go to therapist to get permission or support to be ourselves. Sometimes we go to train ourselves to change patterns that are detrimental to our well being. It can be quite a difficult journey and to be honest, the end result might not be a cure but a solution that is as good as it gets. I admire you for having the strength to take this first step. Please let us know how it goes.

 

Sure it's nerve wrecking at first. But that's only fear of the unknown. The couple therapists I've been have all started the conversation with "Why did you want to come in today?" I've seen my current therapist since June and now my sessions are just like talking to an old friend. There is nothing wrong with feeling nervous before a session, or because you're seeing a therapist. The catch is you just have to make sure that you feel comfortable talking to them.

I think I'm ranting a smidge and should probably try to sleep soon, but if you ever need anything, you have a whole forum of people ready to be supportive in your time of need!

 

The thing is, they are trained to be compassionate and caring towards you. I imagine every person who walks through the therapists door for the first time feels a bit nervous. So they are not going to judge or pressure you in any way. They want it to be a safe and comforting experience for you. In my experience they will discuss whatever you want to discuss. I had some symptoms that I thought were crazy and I didn't tell anyone else about. My therapists didn't even bat an eyelid, they are used to dealing with this stuff all day every day.

Perhaps you could email or send a letter to a few of them beforehand to outline your situation? I emailed one beforehand because I was looking for a specific type of therapy to get over a trauma. She replied that she could help me and I didn't feel so vulnerable walking in because we had started to build a relationship.

That's another thing, different therapists offer different services. I had a lot of success one lady who was a clinical psychologist from memory. She knew a lot about different methods like CBT and EMDR which were very helpful. Another time I went to a counsellor who just listened the whole time, and I found that difficult because she didn't offer much feedback. Recently I have done some email counselling because this lady was also gay and I found it difficult to talk about my challenges with straight therapists. Plus email gave me time to write down all my feelings and not feel pressured. My point is that if you don't find the first therapist helpful, don't take it as meaning that no one can help you.

I would get nervous beforehand but then I just reminded myself, I am free to walk out at any point if it gets overwhelming.

I hope you find some of that helpful, and I hope you do go and see someone. I found it such a relief just realizing I could talk to someone and not worry about burdening them like I did with my friends, because it was there job to sit there and listen to me for an hour. And honestly, there is nothing to be nervous about. They see people like you every day, it's what they're trained to do.

 

Fingers crossed!

Just remember if you don't feel comfortable with them after a couple of sessions, you can always look for somebody else!

 

Indifference, unless your therapist is a particulary kick-ass one.

All of my childhood therapists were cold. Then again, you live in a different state. The therapists there may be better. I don't know...

I hope it goes well for you.

 

Well...if it's unpleasant, make sure you come back and vent about it to us...there isn't a lot we can do to fix it, but we can at least try and help you through it!

 

im hoping its not.. and really.. im making it worse on myself.. worrying about things i shouldnt.. and just.. stressing an abnormal amount a bout it... but its just.. i cant.. not stress and worry about it... its just how i am.. Im just, broken.. and holding myself together with tape and glue

OK, so you need to stop telling yourself this. Seriously.

Do you know what I was like when I chose to take myself to therapy?

I was a damned wreck.

My mum drove me there and I was shaking. I felt physically sick. I couldn't control my thoughts. I spent the entire hours drive telling her I wasn't going to go in just in case she was an axe murderer.

When I went in to the room, I grunted a greeting at the counsellor and sat down in a chair and started staring at her bookshelf. I didn't even pay attention to her for at least 10 minutes, I just pretended it was me and the books.

Eventually I had to start talking and I felt angry and wanted to break things, or curl up in a ball and run away.

The reason I'm telling you this is because that is COMPLETELY NORMAL. All the freaking out you are doing right now is a completely normal reaction to your situation.

So please, stop telling yourself that you're over-reacting to it and being silly about the whole thing, because all it will do is make you feel bad over something you shouldn't feel bad about!