Last night I had a major panic panic attack. I felt nauseated. I was shaking, and hyperventilating. I couldnt breathe, i felt dizzy, but most of all..... I felt helpless. Back in December 2012 I went through a stage of severe depression, and was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I spent some time in the psych unit of the hospital for it. I started feeling like myself again around April of 2013 but by October I was right back in the hospital but this time it was for my anxiety and feelings of suicide. Now by no means did I want to kill myself (and still dont for that matter) I had those feelings of what if I did. After that stay in October I started to feel better by December. Now its June of 2014 and just a couple of weeks ago I started having panic attacks again for the first time since October. Last night was so bad that I skipped work today I stayed in bed till 2 this afternoon and at 9 pm when Im writing this now I still feel tired and groggy. I do take ativan as needed to help calm me down but I dont like taking drugs unless I absolutely need them. I see my psychiatrist next week but Im just tired of living like this. I dont want to live a life of fear and anxiety every day, and I dont want to live a life medicated. Im tired, im scared and I dont want to end up back into the psych unit again. Im at the end of my rope.:tears::tears::tears:
I'm so, so sorry that you feel this way.(*hug*) Things will get better. They always do, no matter what.
My sister has those kind of panic attacks all the time, and I get anxiety for no reason (that I can identify) so I know how out of control it can feel. But you're not alone. and everyone has something rubbish in their life. Maybe doing something you enjoy will help? Or something that will calm you? (I've been wondering if yoga is the way forward, or physical exercise...) You'll probably be talking about it with your therapist, but do you know why you're getting the anxiety? Or what happened while you were in hospital that made you feel better? I know it's silly to say it, but try not to worry about going back into the psych unit, because that fear might make the anxiety worse. Easier said than done I know. But you will get through this.
I just had a small panic attack again this morning. I'm not sure where all this anxiety is coming from all of a sudden. Now im missing work for the second straight day. I don't know what makes me anxious. It just comes out of nowhere. Im getting tired of it. Right now as I type this im laying in bed cuddling a pillow for dear life. I just want it to stop.
I dont like taking drugs unless I absolutely need them Are you taking them NOW, because it sounds like you need them...
omg, im really sorry you have to go though that and i agree, with elia, you REALLY might need them now
Yes I took an ativan. I just don't like taking medications when I have to take them on a daily basis. the ativan i take is only as needed.
Fair enough, I can understand that... Have you been to the doctors about this recently or anything? If your anxiety is coming back this badly it seems like the kind of thing you should consider getting help with again...
Ugh, anxiety and panic attacks are no fun. I have bad anxiety (social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorders), although I haven't had issues with panic attacks for a while. It's more of a slow and steady problem for me rather than random pangs of anxiety. I was on Ativan (well, generic lorazepam) for a while, but it was so weak it was like a sugar pill, and it lasted for such a short time that it gave me bad rebound anxiety just going a few hours without it, making things worse. So the psychiatrist switched me to Klonopin (clonazepam), it unfortunately takes longer to work, so not as helpful in immediately stopping panic attacks, but it is much stronger at actually stopping panic attacks and eliminating anxiety when it does get into your system. But if the Ativan helps you, I wouldn't worry too much about being on medications. Especially since you say you're only taking it PRN/as needed, rather than every day. You say you don't like taking drugs if you don't need them...but it sounds like you need them, so don't feel ashamed about it. A lot of people have issues with anxiety, it's a medical condition like any other, and sometimes medical conditions require medication to treat it. What in particular are you afraid of when it comes to taking medication? There's no reason to give up on life just because you have a condition like many of us do and need medication like many of us do. Life goes on.
