I think I screwed up when meeting another woman

Don;t do that to yourself stocking...oh man...prepare for some extreme hypocrisy

If someone isn't interested, or loses interest, it isn't necessarily because of something YOU did.

You know, if you were sitting here telling me you'd been speaking to her for days and had been really in depth and were really getting somewhere with this girl, then maybe I'd accept you'd done something to cause this...

Let's assume she lost interest. There are a million reasons she could have lost interest, and your ACTIONS account for very few of them.

Don't beat yourself up because one person isn't interested!

 

it was my first time

How many times have you ever heard this phrase and heard something good follow it?

The first time I fought with spears I got hit so hard in the balls I fell over.
The first time I climaxed with another person I felt so bad I dumped her the next day.
The first time I went to counselling I spent half the session refusing to talk.
The first time I picked up a banjo, I realised I couldn't play it.
The first time I shaved my legs, I bled so badly you'd think I was trying to remove the leg.

How often do you hear "The first time I did X, it went exactly as I planned!" Almost never.

I understand how horrible it is to feel like something is going well only to find out that it isn't (Hey, ask me about my weekend...!). It's a horrible feeling to feel rejected like that, but you can't let it bring you down like this.

Right now you are looking at it EXACTLY how I start looking at things.

I did X and nothing happened.

In your case, I flirted with a girl in a gay bar and I did not end up dating this girl.

Perhaps it seems a little silly when I phrase it like this, and perhaps you're sitting here wanting to tell me that I'm wrong and that you didn't think you'd end up dating or whatever. But we both know it's not true. In an ideal world that is where you would have ended up or you wouldn't have done it.

But that's a really all or nothing approach!! It's also a complete load!

Think about it, you didn't get 'nothing' out of your experience.

You proved to yourself that you can approach people and get phone numbers, you can be flirty and interesting. You can do all these things on your own without completely breaking down. These are all good things.

Find the good elements in your situation! You may not have achieved the main goal, but you've achieved lots of little things you can still be proud of, and you can use those to feel more confident next time.

 

bless ya just think its her loss your gain there's more fish in the sea sweetie