Can NON confident people ever actually truly be confident?

Hey

So I've had low self esteem and low confidence for as long as I've known. I've never been able to not care what people think in terms of just getting on with things. I'm always prejudging something, analyzing what could go wrong, how it could wrong, all the what ifs. This all goes on in a matter of seconds and is automatic for me... I can't stop it.

Yes, compared to school life I am a lot better now but still not at the stage I would like. I'm always holding myself back, putting myself off from doing things and generally just staying at this level of comfort. Let's call it "comfort zone" and I guess I've gotten quite used to it. Now it affects me through every aspect of my life and sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down. I can never find that balance. Once one thing knocks me then it all comes crashing down. Now I have been to counselling and can sometimes combat this so that one thing doesn't knock me.

I also feel as though I haven't completely accepted my sexuality. I'm like "Yeah I'm and yeah there's nothing I can do about it so I might as well just put up with it". Couple this with the fact that I associate not being happy with sexuality because it means I will never find anyone and some days I can pretty much hit rock bottom.

So... back to the confidence thing. It doesn't matter how hard I push myself or even if I do go through with something I always revert back to the shy, introverted guy who won't get anywhere. I wanna progress at work but the role I am aiming for is more of leadership role and although I've got the technical stuff down, its the leadership stuff that I struggle with.

I constantly worry, prejudge things, etc etc. People tell me to just push myself but when I do I think "yeah I've done it" but then I go back to being quiet.

I just don't think people who weren't born with confidence can actually become confident an instead just settle of comfortable.