So, I came out yesterday, since I finished high school, and I'll be attending an in-state university this fall. I'm quite excited because this is a liberal school in a blue state, and I want to start dating. Hell, I've wanted to start dating since I was like 14, but the whole closet thing (not just me, there was only like 1 openly gay guy in my class, so quite a few others were hiding as well) has of course prevented this. But... I realized. I don't know the first thing when it comes to gay dating. I'll likely join the gay/straight alliance to try and meet guys, and I've read quite a few posts on here with other suggestions for that, but once I meet a guy, I don't know anything else. Like, who pays for dates? 50/50? or? When is it normal to start having sex? Do I ask him if he has any STDs or just use a condom anyways? (and, what about oral. condom for that as well if I'm unsure?). I know there's lots more questions I have I just can't think of right now, but if anyone could give me advice on those or explain the story of you and your first boyfriend/girlfriend to give me some insight, it'd be much appreciated Thanks
Who pays? In my experience, if you ask someone on a date, you pay. If you continue to go on dates with that person, either split the cost or alternate paying. When is it normal to start having sex? After three or four dates is probably normal, but there is no hard and fast rule. I've had sex after a first date but have also waited several weeks or a month. Do I ask him if he has any STDs or just use a condom anyways? Always ask, and always use a condom. Most people wouldn't lie, but they might have an STD and not know it.
The "who pays" question comes up quite often. Generally speaking, I agree with Confused1234. Typically whoever asks the other out generally pays. In some cases where the economics aren't balanced, the more well to do more often pays. I've been on both sides of that economic imbalance and it can be tough. hard to go to some place fancy when your BF can afford it but you can't. At some point you will need to be honest about your situation if it becomes an issue. Most people understand and the etiquette of paying will work itself out in most couples. Most of the time my other half pays, but I pay the lions share of the bills at home. But that works for us..
in terms of who pays, I find with the guys I get along really well with, we end up going Dutch (in that we pay for each other).
