Thought I was gay.... now not sure.. so confused

So to start off, abusing drugs (including alcohol) will never help you. This is coming from experience with family alcoholism and personal experience. Secondly to help get over your "porn" experience as a child I would suggest talking about this with other people more to get your emotions out and resolve these feelings through dialogue. As for figuring out your sexuality I would suggest asking the girl out you are talking about. By going out with her and talking and just experiencing dating a girl I'm sure you'll find out more about yourself. I say the same thing when it comes to dating a guy. You are very very young and have a lot of things to experience, and only through these experiences you will find out who you are.

 

Ok. First of all take a deep breath. Questioning your sexuality is very very normal at your age. Also, it is not important to know all at once. I think the reason why it is so difficult in this country is because we make men feel that they have to choose being straight or gay, when in truth, there are a number of guys who are bisexual but will not admit it. Your sexuality will be apparent to you when you have dated or had sex with women and men. You will then just know what feels right. The most important thing is to be careful, use condoms whomever you are with and make sure you know where you can get tested or treated for any std's. Be sure you know how to use condoms before you have any anal or vaginal intercourse. There is a trick to it and it's very important. Your confusion will lessen in time. Remember, some guys never make up their minds and that is ok. My personal opinion is that you don't need to broadcast this confusion to your parents or anyone else. There will be a time in life when you've had a long term partner, that you will want people to know and you may already be able to guess by then how your parents will react. Regarding the videos that your neighbor showed you, it is normal to be curios and interested in sex as an adolescent. 17 year old boys have raging hormones and I could be turned on at that age by a sideways glance from either gender, though I now know that I am gay and haven't questioned that since my early 20's. I seriously doubt watching a porno affected your path in either way. You will be sure in time. Just try to do only what you feel comfortable with. Regarding alcohol and drug use. We now know that the brain is still developing until about the age of 35 so alcohol and drug use in teens and twenties can be very detrimental to brain health later on. I'd try really hard to limit this if not stop it entirely. Cardio except size like running, biking or swimming for at least a half hour can greatly help with depression. The bottom line? You are totally normal and all this will be clear in time. just try to be good friends with any people you try to sort these issues out with and if you feel you can't share these feelings with him or her, you probably aren't close enough with them yet to bring it up. Sorry for the long reply.

 

I'll echo the advice and alcohol and drugs... Generally all they do is dull the senses and make you temporarily forget about your problems. They don't make them go away. Case in point is that you are now beginning to struggle yourself. But fear not, because so you stumble from the self induced haze you've been living in, you'll have a chance to work on your problems rather than ignoring them.

As far as this girl, go ask her out. There is no expectation from a date that either of your will be into the other. If you go out and it bombs, learn from it what you can and go on with your life. Just because you don't fall head over heels in love the first time doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. You might meet 100 girls and not have one be the right one. But the trick is to think of each one as practice for when the right one shows up.

As far as the porn thing. All I can say is that you should spend some time without any porn. Let you mind wander while masturbating and see where you imagination takes you. The exercise is to try and help give you insight into what your true desires are. Be it girl or boy or both. There is no shame in whatever you imagine. But the trick is to try not to force it by shaming yourself into feeling one way or another. Once you do that imagine yourself in a romantic situation with either of the sexes. Which appeals to your more?

Your inclination towards asking out a girl, 50s style is nothing to be ashamed of. Most girls will eat it up. The trick is to be your true genuine self. Don't mask who you are. Don't lie, be honest. Ultimately, doing that alone will help make it easier long term. Knowing that the person you are with loves you even knowing all your faults helps build your own impression of you up.

Be strong and take it one step at a time. All your questions have answers, but only you can answer them. So take a baby step, and then another, and another.. Until you are finally walking and then running..

 

Don't turn to drugs or alcohol, they don't have the answers. What your neighbors did was wrong and it might have confused you a bit. All you're feeling totally normal, questioning your sexuality is something many go through. You shouldn't concern yourself with the gender, follow your heart it is usually right. You are still young plenty of time to figure out exactly what or who you want. Best of luck.