This is something i wouldn't say out loud unless, maybe, to a therapist. You see, i spent half my entire life with my mother's side of the family. I never got to meet my father's side( my dad died in a car accident when i was less than a year old and haven't been in contact with his family since then). Growing up i was ok with almost everything in our family. My mom and grandpa were around to provide for almost everyone and we weren't poor....or at least the way we are now. In most African (living in Africa) families the concept of extended families is almost non-existent. I call my cousins, brothers and sisters and we are very close. I spent 10 years of my life with an ''adopted'' family....from Preteens till age 21.That family oozed inspiration. People there were achievers, they worked super hard and hardly spent too much time on Voodoo beliefs, like finding out who was be-witching them etc. They never blamed anyone for their problems. Instead they found ways of fixing their problems. I'm not saying they were a perfect family. Actually they were the first to assure me that it was ok to be gay....and they are mormons(wtf!...i know!). They also paid for exams i had to take to go to university (m family on the other hand always had excuses for how their finances were not stable) Now to my real family. I love them to death but this is how they are. Almost everyone is a high school drop-out or flunked high school, except me. None of them have achieved anything and our family has gotten even more poor...i take part-time jobs to pay for college, which i'm ok with. They are too concerned with som weird beliefs in witchcraft and the like. Apparently the reason why almost everyone is not successful or achieving anything noteworthy is ''because there are people be-witching us''. There is nothing i find motivational about my family...i have to visit my ''adopted'' family for motivation. I'm currently studying physics and when i tell them about how i want to end up flying planes or be an aerospace engineer, they remind me that i may get bewitched and possibly die in a plane crash. I'm determined to be better than most of them, though. I'm even embarrassed to have my friends over......right now we are living in poverty( and i don't mean not having our ''wants'' poor, i mean having to eat porridge in the morning so we can have something to eat for supper poor ).Oh, and when i tried coming out to my uncle who i thought was more ''cultured'', he told me how my nature may lead me to hell if i choose to act on it at the same time they don't speak out against my other cousins who are basically the most promiscous men around.....and they are christian I hate feeling this way about my family but you never chose them and deep down i love them. Sorry for the long post. I guess i needed to vent. Thanks for reading
