For those that feel they have made it (for want of a better phrase - you know, in your happy place, out as far as you want to be, no shame...), did anyone get there without the assistance of some kind of in-person, professional help? Whether it was psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, group therapy, peer counseling or whatever. Did it make a difference if your sexuality was the catalyst for getting help and not other issues? i.e. You hadn't suffered at the hands/words of others. I'm just wondering if an internal fortitude can be enough to somehow "muscle" your way through this with what can be found here and elsewhere on the internet. ---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2014 at 03:55 PM ---------- (where the heck has the edit gone?) I guess I should have said that this is for a "vanilla" gay situation. Not any of your more complex combinations of colours.
Hey Not 100% sure what you mean by this, but I think I may have...or am...or whatever. I've never seen a professional or been in group therapy/peer counciling. The only people I've talked to about my sexuality are my sister and best friend, and that can be summed up in 3 brief conversations (although I'm working on changing that). Most of my "discovery" process has been entirely private and personal, but it depends on your situation and personality. For me, I'm majorly introverted. I like lots of time to myself, and quiet time, and not having to make conversations, so for me, working through it, mostly alone, with reassurances etc from here worked for me. Or is working - not sure if I'm quite there yet, but definitely getting there. So I guess it is possible For some people, they need to talk it through with someone who they know won't judge them. Nothing wrong with that, just personal preference and need
I wouldn't say I'm totally out, but enough to satisfy me and generally I'm happy with who I've become. No professional help, just a lot of exposure to different philosophies and years of introspection.
There are way, way more people who have come out never having had therapy than people who have had therapy. That said... *everyone* can benefit from therapy, provided the therapist is competent (more difficult than you might expect.) And yes, the issues involved in self-acceptance of being gay are tied in with other areas of self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-esteem, and other factors.
Well, I do have a "therapist", and she has helped me to feel more accepting of myself, but I think of her more as a friend. She helps because she's the only person whom I've felt comfortable enough with to discuss the situation openly with, and she's been completely supportive (and only makes a big deal out of it if I do.) I'd say it's more about just finding someone who allows you to just be you.
I've had therapy for other issues, but I've always done fine sexuality-wise without any help. When the topic of romantic relationships came up I simply said " i like girls" to my shrink and that was the only time that was ever mentioned.