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Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014.

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  1. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    this Is My First Post. IM David And My Friends Name Is John. I Guess I Can Start By Saying That IM In Love With A Supposedly "Straight" Guy. But Don't Think It's My Fault Because I've Never Ever Had A Best Friend WHo Wanted To Be Touching Me All The Time.It Started About A year And A Half ago I NoticeD He Started To Look At Me Different And Seemed Like He Would Hold Eye Contact AsLong As Possible. As Weeks Progressed His Knee WouldWould Wonder Over To Mine On The Couch While We Were Playing xbox And He Would Rest It On Me. His HandsWould Weirdly RuB Mine Wen He hand Me The Controller. Well Time Went On And Things Got Weirder, We Would Sit Super Close To Each Other , So Close That Our Legs Were Touching All The Way Up And Would Lean Into Each Other With OuR Elbows And Shoulders. I Mean What Do U Do But Go With It If U Like It So I Started Pushing My Legs And Arms Back I Let My Fingers Rub His Wen I Passed Him Something. Here's The Confusing Part, It Would Be Like This For About A Week Or Two Then It Would SeenLike He Hated Me , He Wouldn't even Sit Beside Me Or Hardly Even Talk To Me Then It's Back To Rubbing On Me Being My Best Friend Again. Well These Spells Went On For A While So I Fianally Worked Up The Courage To Tell Him IM Bi He's The Only One I've Ever Told And He Knows It. He Said He Didn't Care As Long As I Didn't Try To Get Weird With Him. After That Night He Wouldn't Talk To Me Or Hang Out With Me Ignored My Text And Fb Mssgs. So I Called Him Out On The Touching An He Said That He's Never Even Had A F__King Gay Thought In His Life And That If I Cared Anything About Our FriendShip I Could Never Bring It Back Up. And After That He Didn't Talk To Me For Probably 10 Months. Now This Is The Really Confusing Part. Today We Are Best Friends Again I Don't Understand Him Though Cause Now He Touches Me Again But Even More . He Used To Wouldn't Sleep In The Same Bed With Me But Now He Will And He Lays Right Up Aginsed Me And Our Legs Are Always Just About Tangled Up. I Held His Hand One Night Just To See What He Would Do And He Let Me , I Don't Think He Was Asleep Because He Kept Changing Positions But Has Hand Stayed Perfectly Still. We Lay Back To Back Pushing Up On Each Other AndI Woke Up One Night To His Hand On Mine , Not Holding Just On It. And Wen Our Legs Touch On The Chouch It Seems Like He Knows I Know Cause It Happens Nearly Every Time , It's Just What We Do For Some Reason Even If It's Hot Our Legs Are Pushed Up Against Each Others. Sorry This Was So Long I Just Don't Know What To Do It's Killing Me :help:
     
    #1 bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014
  2. adrianislander

    adrianislander
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    wow you guys have some serious chemistry! well i can tell you this much, i think it's about time that you guys really sit down and sort your feelings. maybe he's just curious at this point and knowing that you're bi just tells him in his head that experimenting with you is okay and that the both of you are okay with it. if this is affecting you the way it is, you owe it to the both of you to really talk it out. start off by being somewhere private where you won't be overheard and just ask him if he's interested in learning about this a little more. don't try to point fingers and accuse him of all the things you said, rather just tell him that you yourself are confused about the whole thing and you're interested in seeing where this goes. if he agrees then good for you both! but if not, then tell him that if this is really going nowhere then you both should set some boundaries. tell him that because you are bi, that it would help if he just kept the touching to a minimum so you can sort out your feelings about it. i hope this helps!
     
    #2 adrianislander, Jun 24, 2014
  3. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    Thanks For The Reply , Do You Think He'll Start Avoiding Me Again If I Say Something About It Again Caus I Really Want To Keep Him As A Friend. before All This started Happenings he Was The Best Friend I've Ever had I Loved Him More Than My Own BrotherAnd I'd Had To Lose My Buddy. ESP. If It's My Fault.

    ---------- Post added 24th Jun 2014 at 07:30 AM ----------

    hAte
     
    #3 bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014
  4. RainbowGreen

    RainbowGreen
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    If I was you, I'd let him lead the game. If he says you could lose the friendship by bringing it up again, just don't. If he does something to you, example, the touching, he can't be mad at you for doing the same thing to him. Wait it out, he's probably questioning a bit.
     
    #4 RainbowGreen, Jun 24, 2014
  5. adrianislander

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    i think that decision is up to you man. i think you both have reached the point where you guys have to talk but that's just my opinion. and don't blame yourself! you both came to this situation it wasn't just your fault. talk to him and assure him that you only want to make sure that you're both going to come out of this still friends. and like RainbowGreen said it's probably best to let him lead the whole thing.
     
    #5 adrianislander, Jun 24, 2014
  6. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    We'll Before He Avoided Me For 10Months I Tried To Talk To Him But He Said He's Not One To Have Heart To Heart Talks , He Said He Don't Like Talking About His Own Emotions Let Alone Someone ElseS , But Now MI Open About My Orientation And It Don't Bother him. IM So Damn Lost Lol I Just Don't Wanna Give Up Cause I've Never Wanted Anything More In My life
     
    #6 bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014
  7. TJ

    TJ
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    I think it's pretty clear that he has some feelings for you, and you also have some feelings for him.
    While he may not want to talk about it, his actions stir feelings in you, and as an equal part of your friendship, you deserve some answers. If he really freaks out and doesn't acknowledge the fact that what he's doing is creating feelings between you, then I guess he's still not ready to come to terms with those feelings.

    But in my opinion, you deserve answers. You should be able to ask him about you and him and how he feels, because you're into him too.
    If you do decide to talk to him, good luck. If not, you're in an understandable situation to not want to ask him about it.
     
    #7 TJ, Jun 24, 2014
  8. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    Do Yall Think He's Asleep Wen The Night Touching Happens I Just Don't Know I've Never Experienced Anything Like This , He's The First Guy I've Even Felt Like This For. But I Will Say I Recently Went To Pcb With 3 Of My Other Friends I Know Are Straight And I Slept In The Same Bed With All Of Them On Different Nights And Not Once Did We Touch. An It Was The Same Size Bed In The Hotel Room As I Have That Me An John Sleep In Soo... Idk What To Think
     
    #8 bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014
  9. Peacemaker

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    he probably does have some feelings for you, seems questioning
     
    #9 Peacemaker, Jun 24, 2014
  10. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    Heck I Feel Better Just Knowing People Has Read My Post And Replied In Attempt To Help Me Through This So Thanks Guys And Any Other Advice Is Appreciated More Than You Know. I've Struggled With ThisfFor Far To long
     
    #10 bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014
  11. Trooper

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    I'm sorry to hear you're going through this rough time. I will say that it really seems like he has feelings for you. Otherwise, I don't see why he would return to being your best friend and keep doing the things you describe. The bigger question seems to be if he accepts his feelings, and how far he would be willing to go with you.

    It's possible that if you try to take things further, he will pull back again and stop being your friend. It's also possible he has accepted his feelings somewhat, and could pursue a relationship with you. He could also be somewhere in between these options, and be willing to experiment with you sexually, but without developing any deeper romantic connection.

    As far as I see it, you have a decision to make, and it's not an easy one. You need to decide if your feelings for him are so strong that you will risk your friendship to be with him right now, or you could just try to be his friend, and decide that he will need to take the next step if anything is to happen between you two.

    A different alternative, if you decide that you just want to get over him, would be to create some distance between the two of you. But based on what you've written, I doubt you're thinking about that.
     
    #11 Trooper, Jun 24, 2014
  12. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    Another Concern , Are Guy Friends Like This Ever Without Being Into Each Other? And To Add To The Original Story He Used ToPlay Fight With Me All The Time Just Playing Around But He Stopped Doin That To Me, But He Still Does To Some Of Our Other Friends And Wen were Drunk WE Both Do It To Each other, ALOT. And He Recently Moved Like 30 Mins Away And He Always Wants Me To Come See Him Even If He Has To Give Me Gas Money. And Another CoNcerN Can People Tell That Are Around US, No One Has Ever Said Anything But My Goodness It Seems So Obvious To Me.ESP Wen He Sits Up Against Me Right In Front Of EveryOne.
     
    #12 bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014
  13. TJ

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    Straight guy friends are sometimes touchy feely with each other, but I feel like your friend exceeds what straight guys typically would.

    And most people are pretty respectful when it comes to two people interacting, so that may be why nobody has said anything.
    That, or you two really don't look that conspicuous.
     
    #13 TJ, Jun 24, 2014
  14. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    Do Straight FRiends Put One Of Their HaNds On Each Others Chest Any The Other On Their Own To Feel Each Others Heartbeat With THeir Own. Or That's What I Was dOin. Idk Why He Would've Wanted To Do That . We WeRnt Exercising Or AnyThing Just A Random heart Feel.
     
    #14 bearhug1994, Jun 24, 2014
  15. RainbowGreen

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    My friends do that to joke about being gay, so if he was serious, I'm pretty sure he's not straight as a ruler.
     
    #15 RainbowGreen, Jun 25, 2014
  16. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    How WOuld I Let Him Know IM Into Him To Without Actually Saying That.
     
    #16 bearhug1994, Jun 25, 2014
  17. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    And Aslo, How Would ITake It A Step Further Without Trying To Go To Far, It's A Pretty Sensitive Situation. And I've Never Did Anything Sexually With Anyone.
     
    #17 bearhug1994, Jun 25, 2014
  18. TJ

    TJ
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    Just slowly start to reciprocate his actions. If he rubs your hand, rub his hand back. Start small, and build up over a few days together.
     
    #18 TJ, Jun 25, 2014
  19. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    Now His Job Only Let's Me See Him On The Weekends So I'll Be Around Him Before To Long I Hope And We Haven't Really Had Any Alone Time Together . So What IM Hoping Is That The Time Apart Will Make Him Wanna Touch Me Even More.

    ---------- Post added 27th Jun 2014 at 04:54 PM ----------

    Yep He's Here Lol
     
    #19 bearhug1994, Jun 27, 2014
  20. bearhug1994

    bearhug1994
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    Just Told Him EverythiNg And He Said He's Cool With It, He Didn't Say He Liked Me Back But He Aslo Didn't Stop Being My Friend As Far as I Know. I Won't See Him Again Till Next Thursday Or Friday So I Hope He Actually Comes Back. But At Work The Last Two DayS( We Have The Same Weekend Job) We've Been Sitting Up Against Each Other On The Golf Cart. I Aslo Told Him About Me Being Depressed Awhile Back And Had Been Cutting Myself. I Gave Him The Only Knife I Have Ever Used For ThatAnd He Took It So... I Feel Really Good I Told Him All This But Do You Think Doing It Right Before He Went Backhome Was The Right Decision?
     
    #20 bearhug1994, Jun 29, 2014
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