I'm going to start with a story. My best friend.... My best friend.... (Shit, it's like I can't even think of words right now.) Well, I met him my second year of community college. We were pledging the same frat. Well, as I was a girl then, I was pledging to be a little sis to this frat, but if anyone asks now, I pledged a frat. Anyway, let's back up a little. My second year of community college, I noticed this guy with a huge jew-fro around campus. He always had headphones in his ears, and he was very quiet. The first time I noticed him, he ran past me and then stopped and started walking. My first thought was, "Hey, this guy runs in spurts, like I do. He must be socially awkward like me." Then I started to notice him more around campus. I watched him from a distance, wondering who he was but being too afraid to say anything. Then one day, we made eye contact across the cafeteria. It was like magic. Next thing I knew, we were pledging the same frat, becoming fast friends, going on adventures....dating. Years went by. We lost contact a few times, didn't speak to each other for months. Broke up. Almost got back together. Lost contact again. Soon, I was married to my ex-husband. My friend and I got back into contact again. A short year and a half later, I was going through a divorce. I struggled and fell and fiddled with the idea of dating my friend again. That didn't pan out. Instead, I was scared and while fooling around with him kept him at a distance. Soon, contact was lost again. I married my current husband. Contact with my friend was once again restored. We hung out almost weekly despite living at least an hour apart. Then, this past December, he shipped out to Fort Sam for Air Force BMT. We wrote letters to each other, sent doodles and drawings. Then one day, the letters stopped coming. I worried but wondered if maybe he was just busy. He gets antisocial sometimes. Months later, I sent him a text to say that I miss him. I get in the shower not expecting to get anything back immediately. I clean up and get out, and when I check my phone, I notice I have 3 missed calls from him. I call him back, and we talk for a long time, almost hanging up several times but not being able to. He tells me it's a good thing I texted him because he needed someone to pick him up from the airport. We hang out some more in the coming couple weeks. Fast forward to today, and we're preparing to drop him off at the airport. We talk over breakfast. He refers to me as a woman and then apologizes, saying that he's sometimes insensitive about my gender. He called me his best friend. His openness is odd to me. He usually has his guard up all the time. We had bonded. We get to the airport. I take a picture with him. He says to my husband, "Don't take this the wrong way," and kisses me on the forehead. We hug. I almost cry. He boards his plane. Still can't cry. I want to, but I can't. Now, I feel different, although I'm not sure how. I feel....hollow or something. I feel nothing. I've fallen into the abyss of my own heart, I fear. It's scary. Suddenly, my life feels incomplete. Tell me, is this what leaving a friend feels like? It doesn't seem normal to me, but what the hell do I know about normal, I guess. I just needed to vent, I think, but something doesn't feel right.
I kinda know how you feel. When my bff is not with me I feel like a piece of me is gone. Me and him are like brother and sister. I can talk to him about anything. Sometimes we hug and say I love you to each other. Just know you will see him again and understand that was your best friend.
That feeling is incredibly sobering. Nothing makes me feel like that except for when someone close to my heart leaves. For me, that's my boyfriend. My best friend. We're long-distance, and when we leave each other, there's nothing I want to do more than be with him a little bit longer. Talk about the most random things that come to mind. You and this guy made connections. Many many many connections. You shared stories, love, breakups, months apart, and so many feelings, good and bad. When you know someone deeply like that, even if you're not dating, and they go to leave for a long time, it leaves a hollow feeling. The person that knows you inside and out is gone. It's a crazy, crazy feeling.
It's completely normal. A true friendship is like a platonic love. It's normal to feel emotions for that person! Also for me, I don't talk with my (male) friend for 2 months and maybe still for a long time. I miss him SO MUCH. Big hug for you, JJ (*hug*)
That's beautiful. I think I teared up a little bit. We have shared a lot. I miss him so much. We bonded more over the weeks before he left than in years of being friends. I wish I would have had more time--all the time in the world, really--to become even closer. Oh, god I sound so sappy right now. ---------- Post added 25th Jun 2014 at 07:35 PM ---------- Thank you! (*hug*) ---------- Post added 25th Jun 2014 at 07:38 PM ---------- Also, I still haven't cried yet, but I do have "All of Me" by John Legend stuck in my head. :bang:
