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need advice and support :'(

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by brc, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. brc

    brc
    Regular Member

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    Hi guys,
    To start of I'm 25 yrs. old, identify as a lesbian, i live in toronto canada, I have been depressed for a long time, and unemployed for a long time and so I live with my parents. There's so many issues going on with me but I've been trying to improve and tackle each one one step at a time. For the past few years, I have changed my attitude, and perspective and to be honest I'm more comfortable with myself now than before. I used to be judgemental, and angry with people and lost my patience easily. But despite trying to improve myself, I have no friends and support system except my parents and a couple of relatives who live far away. I'm starting to feel anger inside me again. I'm getting depressed and unmotivated even more. I'm trying to keep myself busy looking for simple jobs out there. I don't know what to do. Part of why i'm so unmotivated and depressed is because I have a difficult aunt that I have to always worry about at home. And part of why I'm worrying is because I've lived with this person for a long time and I realized that I was starting to become like her which is why I took the time to change myself and my attitude. Right now, she is acting like a child and I feel like she's trying to provoke me and I notice that she only does this when my parents are not around and it's getting to me. I don't know if I should tell my parents about this. I'm starting to feel angry and depressed. I don't want to feel this anymore and I would just cry so much in frustration. It's a never ending cycle for me because I have issues that I'm trying to work on with finding a job, being there for my parents, searching for friends and support systems and living with my aunt for so many years and having to worry about her makes it more difficult for me to move on. I really don't know what i'm doing wrong.
    My main priority for me right now is to move out but in my culture i'm expected to stay with family until I have my own family. I don't know how I'm going to move past this. It's a never ending cycle. I need to leave because I feel that it's unhealthy for me to be in this environment. I wish I could just stay at a friend's house but I have no friends at all. It's been years and I can't move on. I've thought about ending my life because I sense that it's not going to go anywhere. I'm trying to be as patient as I can but despite improving myself and finding ways to stay healthy and cope with everything, I still feel stuck. I'm starting to feel that way again that I should just end my life. Please, I need advice and help.
     
  2. Rosepetal

    Regular Member

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    Have u thought about getting a visa ? Please don't ur life and this is ur life don't count anyone to happiness for you . Try looking into hospitals to volunteer at or maybe go back to school,learn a new language ,computer skills ,a hobby that u like Something u would enjoy doing ,join in something that ur interested in anything that u like or any job u would like to pursue it can be acting,medical ,Astronomy. Don't end it :slight_smile: I was in ur shoes but I'm straight thought ending my life and I'm younger than u . Or get a girlfriend :slight_smile:
     
  3. LD579

    Full Member

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    In the mean time, could you try to find volunteer work or something to occupy your time while you look for a job? Picking up a new hobby and keeping busy will allow you to keep your mind sharp and more resilient to things. If possible, it's best to be as proactive as you can with job applications and interviews. Use whatever connections you can (Friends, acquaintances, family friends and friends of your parents), and follow through with interviews. Eventually you will find a job and you can start to work on saving up money from there. A job's also a good place to meet people and make friends of sorts with your coworkers. Other places you might find friends could be in clubs at community centres, or while volunteering if there are opportunities around you.

    It's worth considering talking to your parents about what your aunt is doing, as well, if not trying to talk to your aunt directly.

    As always, if you want to discuss this in a more one-on-one manner, you can PM a staff member and we'll do our best to help. I know it can be really frustrating to not have many options, but it can be a matter of being hardy and tenacious and continually looking for opportunities.