So I have been in a three year relationship with my former partner. Things haven't been working out lately so I want to break it off. I let her in a deep secret because I needed her to know. Wrong decision because now she uses it as a a weapon against me. I tried three times and those three times she threatens me. If I leave she will ruin my life. I can't let that happen but I can't stay! What can I do? I really need some good advice. Maybe by message for full detail.
She is emotionally blackmailing you and that is really horrible. >.< I dont know what the secret is so i dont really know how you could go around it but she is toxic and you need to get away from her. You say it will ruin your life, is it really that bad? Or is it something which will ruin life for like a week or so?
Issue is someone very close to me, a family member, did something horrible. I told her and if she opens her mouth the cops will separate my family. If that happens I'll never forgive myself... I feel like I'm trapped into a relationship I want to leave.
That is really tough >.< i guess you would have to try and reason with her. I have ask staff if i can PM you. ^.^
I'm so sorry this is happening to you, blackmail is never fun. I'm sorry I have no advice to give to you :/
We cant pm. I can only really see 2 options. 1. You try to reason with her and let her down really really slowly. 2. You leave and hope that she doesnt say anything. I would go with the first but i dont know her so i dont know if reasoning will work or not >.<
She's completely desperate and obviously not rational. I'm sorry she's stooped this low to try and hold on. Unless she can point to physical evidence or something that will actually give the cops something to go on - then she doesn't have anything. Lots of people make up shit all of the time to try and unless there really is something to hide - I wouldn't worry, because at this point its just a rumor spread by a delusional ex.
Well wait does she have proof of what you did because if not then you're free to go if not you could just try to leave when she's not home block her off of everything and go stay with a friend so it's not so bad. (*hug*)
This case has been closed before but put on hold and her re-opening it would be enough to cause the damage. I guess I'll try to reason but I have tried before and it just doesn't work... It's gotten to the point I'm started to get depressed..I would want her in my life as a friend but she doesn't understand that.
Can she be reasoned with? Could you try to remind her of the good times you had and then ask her if she's having a good time now. Wouldn't she rather have a chance at being happier? Maybe illustrate how going through with her threat would actually hurt people she doesn't know besides just you and you know that she's not the type of person to inflict indescriminate pain, right? (Maybe she is but we're trying to soothe her right now.) I think you need to be the stronger more level-headed one for a bit and offer this "support" to her while showing how you're indifferent to the threat but how she's ... Um, I think I lost where I was going with this. Oh dear. Well maybe you get the idea... Anyway, I think trying to convey that you want her to be happy but you've honestly concluded you're not the one to do that for her.
Have you considered being such an awful and rude person that she wants to break it off with you? I know not everyone is willing to do that I know I didn't! But if you can get her to leave you then I doubt she would blackmail you but it's just a suggestion hope I helped although, I highly doubt I did. I'm sorry for not having any better advice :icon_sad:
I think you should just break things off with her and explain that this emotional blackmailing is causing you stress and creating tension in your relationship. It won't bring you back around to wanting to be with her again, infact it's pushing you further away. She will look like a crazy person if she starts spreading rumors about you to people behind your back.
