I can't seem to get over the fact my bisexual boyfriend slept with a woman?

I would see it like this. Your boyfriend based on your description seems like he could get with a woman and be in a relationship with her. This is still the norm in all societies, where homosexuals are still discriminated against and viewed with disapproval. Yet, he chose to be with you. Doesn't that speak volumes?

 

A lot of gay people, gay men and lesbians alike, seem to always experienced this fear while dating a bisexual. If they cheat, then they are a cheater, if this person is with you, you expect them to be faithful and love you as you love them and just as much just like any other person that you are in a relationship with.

I heard the other way around too, that women cannot compete with men for another man. So with that said, I think this is an issue of self-esteem. Most people have it, LGBTQ or no.

 

im sorry i do not understand a few things:

1. why do you say "heads" instead of giving head?

2. if the dude is not cheating on you and is committed to you, why are you worried about the fact that he finds women attractive? if he is not with women whilst being with you, why is that any concern of yours. if he was only into guys, other man's parts still would have "touched" him. so what is the big deal?

3. the real issue here is that you are insecure and jealous. it has nothing to do with women but it has everything to do with the fact that you think he may leave you for something you can't offer "a female vagina, breasts, and good "heads" as you say". in your mind you think that if he was purely gay, then there is no way he could leave you or cheat on you because you are confident that you possess something so good that he would never walk away from you to go to another man.....ummm WRONG. if someone wanna cheat on you, they will cheat on you no matter what you do, what you got, what you look like, how good you think your sex is, how beautiful you are, how nice your body is, or how much money you have. if they want to cheat, they will. so stop tripping off what gender he has been with and if you keep stressing over it and tripping, you may put an idea in his head. just chill out and stop being insecure.

 

I guess I can understand where you're coming from. Gay people tend to get insecure over bisexuals, but really, if he chose to be with you that says a lot considering society's views on same-sex relationships.

He hasn't cheated on you, he just had sexual experiences in the past. If he's stayed with you, you're good enough for him.

 

this....i wish the bash on bi's from the gay community would stop.

 

^ Well he said the same thing except more harshly and detailed. ^_^;;

 

I'm a little troubled as to what part is bothering you. Do you think that he's going to leave you for a woman, because he thinks they give better head? You are a man and he is attracted to men. He will be perfectly satisfied with you. Plus theres some stuff with men that you can't get with women, so if he was basing it on sex alone, which I doubt he is, he would still have a good reason to stay.

 

This whole story reminds me of something that happened to me. I met up with a guy, got to know him a bit, had sex with him a couple of times. One day, we were sitting around chatting, and the topic wandered over to "gold-star gays". (For those not in the know, it's a term for a gay guy who has never had sex with a woman. I'm assuming it applies to lesbians, too.) I told him I was "gold star", but I didn't really see what the big deal was. I told him about the time I offered to have sex with a female friend of mine, who politely turned me down. (I could tell you the story, but let's not make this more complicated than it needs to be.)

My telling him this completely altered his view of me. I never considered the fact that I had once offered to have sex with a woman might negate my homosexuality, frankly, but he in fact said "I believed you when you told me you were gay, but apparently you're just another liar." He later added that he now "felt dirty" thinking that he had sex with somebody like me. Mind you, I never HAVE had sex with a woman - I simply had offered to. But that was enough that he felt he was now "tainted" (again, his word).

My take? Honestly, I think people like this - and like you, OP - need to check your head. There's nothing wrong with not being interested in having sex with women - I don't either. (The situation I had with this one woman had a lot of extenuating circumstances.) But lady parts don't have some sort of man-zapping power. Men who have sex with women aren't "tainted". And if you think they are, you need to work on getting to a point where you DON'T think they are.

Lex

 

I mean, he hasn't cheated on you yet, has he? He is what he is, and you can't change the fact that he likes girls too. Now, aside from that, I don't like the fact that he brought up that while in a relationship with you. No one likes to talk about past exes and experiences with them when you're in a relationship with someone. So, I can understand how that would bother you in that regard. However, you can't be irritated by the fact that he likes girls. He's bisexual. That means that he has feelings for the opposite gender too.

 

Honestly....I think some people can't get over it. I'm gay but definitely no gold star (probably copper or something ) and although I think it's insecurity it's hard. I think a lot of people if they're really honest want to hear that they are the best f*** and relationship the other person has ever had, every time. I wouldn't want to ask.

How did it work outside the bedroom for him and his ex? Were they as compatible as you two are in that department?

 

Would you feel the same way if he described a sexual experience with a male? Or do we have to have the "it's no different than if he had sex with a guy" talk?


Sure, it's partially on you for asking, but not everyone is comfortable hearing about others' sexual experiences (I certainly don't such conversations comfortable!), so can't blame ya there. Perhaps stay away from the topic in the future, or if he or any future partner brings it up, mention that you aren't very comfortable hearing about past sexual experiences?

If it's solely because it was with a woman, well you've already gotten some great advice. If you're alluding to insecurity about him leaving you or cheating on you with a woman, that one's on you and your own insecurities - he could leave or cheat on you just as easily with a man, and how would that be any different? But anyhow, you didn't actually say that, so I can't address it with any surety.

 

Don't worry.. Men's parts disgust me too I don't know what to say to you besides.. Try get over it? He touched a girls vagina with his penis so what?! Do you think that vagina still lingers on his penis when you have sex with him? No it doesn't because god only knows how many times he's showered up to this day after he had sex with them girls.