Lately I've been feeling more and more invisible. I was completely denied of being part of the drag show without explanation as it's happening tomorrow. I would've understood if they had said something like " Well, we didn't have enough time to prepare for you, sorry. " I would be like okay I get it.. but they've stopped messaging me all together and they haven't invited me to any of the events yet, they invite everyone else they know. I find them out though the page it's self about this little side page.. it really bothers me and I don't know how to bring it up since this is the guy who runs everything. I've also been noticing just how alone I am. Everything I do is by myself and lately when I've been trying to ask others to go out with me and they have some excuse that becomes obvious after the post the things that they do that day.. like they could just be straight up with me and say no and yeah, I'll be mad but I'll be like okay I know what you're all about now.. This may seem all dramatic and whatnot but I really am alone. I feel terrible and I've cried twice today about it because I feel so terrible. It's like, why do I even bother trying to stand out and be helpful and happy for everyone if they completely overlook me and ignore my existence? I can't deal with it anymore. All I really want is that one good friend who I don't even have to talk to, but who just understands why I feel like I do and we can just talk about random things like real friends and hang out like real friends.. Why can't I have that?
I have noticed that when we leave school, things change. It's harder to find friends and people to hang out with. Keep looking. Don't reject possibility of online friendship. Perhaps, try to find a member of the comunity whose position is not very strong (just like yours isn't) and try to make bond with them to stay in the group more easily. Don't lose hope.
Thank you for replying. Honestly, I have tried. I've tried to make many friends, even within the LGBT community and they always end up leaving without saying anything. I'll ask them to hang out, they make the excuse and I end up not bothering after awhile. It's funny that some will even place the blame on me when I get upset with them and not once have they tried to be around me. I've been on a certain site for awhile trying to gain friends in that area and I've gotten nothing in the 3 years I've been there. I don't know what's so repelling but I wish someone would say something to help me understand.
I can't tell you what you are doing wrong. Perhaps nothing. But after being a part of the website for three years, I am surprised that you don't feel you have friends there. Is it a board? Is it possible to send private messages there?
It's no exactly a board like this, more like a blog is the closest thing I can get to. But many others do find friends there and I've gotten a few messages here and there but nothing that lasts over a day or two and like my friends, they just seem to disappear. We can send PMs, yes. The thing is, it's not really how I feel, I just don't. Even in other places, I'm lucky enough to get a few likes and that's really it. I've hid my face away and everything and yet.. I mean it can't be with what I say, I know this for sure. I may have bad grammar but I know that I'm not that bad and that what I write is easy to read, no decoding and rarely any misunderstandings. Like even here, I try not to get so wrapped up in thinking that people just automatically hate me. Kind of makes me wish they didn't have the whole "viewed" thing because it's like so many people look at this stuff ( not just mine ) and don't reply. I mean could you imagine that on other social sites? I mean right now, I feel lucky knowing that you answered me because I would've probably done something stupid, tbh.
