Does anyone here have abandonment issues?

A bit, am a people pleaser

 

*raises hand*

Present!


(And to your question: I don't know. )

 

Symptoms of Abandonment Issues it is this explains ALOT :dry:

 

(*hug*)

Yeah, it sucks. Just when I thought I was doing pretty well on it, I got left by my fiancee, too. :tears:

So yes...I feel kinda right back to square 1 with the trust issues re: abandonment.

 

Although, Richie: We can take a "show me" instead of a "tell me" approach. For me now this means: the proof will be in the pudding, as they say. I'll know someone is true for the long haul precisely by the fact that they have stayed with me, over a nice duration of time.

Unfortunately, this is not a fast approach. lol

But then, all the best things are worth the time they take.

For instance, by bff has been my best friend for more than 20 years. She's proven herself to me over a lot of time, a lot of experiences, and just...everything.

But I knew after HS that she would be a friend for life...at which point it had only been about 4-5 years of knowing her.

So that's kind of my standard for people, to really trust them in a 'heart way,' now: 5 years (give or take)

If someone can be that patient, they're a keeper.
If they can't, they weren't the one/weren't good enough for you.
TRUTH.

---------- Post added 8th Jul 2014 at 03:23 AM ----------

Hang in there. (&&&)

 

Do I have abandonment issues? Probably no more than any other person, but I do accept it as one of the vulnerabilities of living. It's certainly not un-natural to fear abandonment, but if it's having a really significant impact on our feelings and emotions, then we do need to look at it more closely.

I don't claim to be an expert on this subject, but I do know that fear of abandonment is often (though not always) linked to childhood experience and rarely the fault of the individual - so you can be talking about some fairly deep seated and painful stuff. The fear can arise from unmet physical/emotional needs, or a combination of both. Therapy can bring out a lot of these issues and our responses to these issues (like wanting to please, feeling anger or rage, lowered self esteem, disconnecting...) and hopefully help to find a way of ordering our thoughts in a more healthy way. It can be a hard journey though, so you have to hold on tight!

I suppose the question is, do you know or understand where the issues relating to abandonment come from and do you know or understand what feeds the issues? (I think that was two questions actually, but I've been clever and lumped them together )

The main thing is to understand that issues with/fear of abandonment are not entirely un-natural. It's part of our emotional make-up to have these feelings, but we do need to check them and confront them if they build up. So even though you feel like disconnecting, please don't. You have friends on here who care about you Richie.

Stay strong. (*hug*)

 

Erm definitely... I dream about people I meet, and I wish I could somehow be able to please them and get a second chance, but since life isn't a movie, reality entails forgetting your worries by attempting to solve more foreign questions with definitive answers

 

I have the same problem but sometimes I am a bit too trusting .