Hey guys Recently I have been arguing with my boyfriend quite a lot and he has even told me that I am doing it. I think it is because recently I have had a lot of stuff on my mind and been very stressed out recently. But i don't know how else I can let out my anger without getting into arguments with my boyfriend. Any ideas?
What kind of thing have you been arguing about? Small things or big things? Also, what is it that's stressing you out? You could try getting the stored-up feelings out by writing or drawing, if that's your thing, or else when you're alone, pretend someone else is there and shout at them. And imagine how they would reply. Have the argument with an imaginary person.
I know how you feel, sometimes I think we project our crap instead of really dealing with it. I too need to find an outlet for my frustration so if you find anything good let me know
As someone who's been on the receiving end of unprovoked and undeserved rants, I can tell you they're no fun and will eventually end the relationship if your boyfriend is remotely healthy. So I'd say the first thing to do is directly own it with him. Go and tell him exactly what you told us, that you do this, it's projected anger, it's inappropriate, and you don't know how else to handle it. Set up a code word or phrase he can use to tell you when you're being a dick for no reason. This is something you both agree on, that when he says it, you immediately stop, maybe take 5 minutes and go in the other room and think, and come back. If he's empowered to do this, it will take a lot of the stress off of the situation. It will also help you to understand when and where you're doing it, and begin to train yourself not to. Then, think about other ways you can vent the anger. Exercise is the way a lot of people do it. Going outside somewhere and throwing rocks on the ground. Screaming into a pillow. For some people, masturbating works. But don't keep putting it on him. It's not fair to him, and it isn't healthy for you either.
I think Chip's advice is excellent. As someone who went through this as well (me being the aggressive arguer), I found I always felt overwhelmed. And no matter what I did, little stupid things would set me off. I ended up blowing up the relationship because I didn't have the knowledge of what was going on and my BF trying to placate to me just pissed me off more. Actually one of the few times I felt better was when he argued back. I am not suggesting you encourage him to do that, but you might need to find an outlet for your feelings and find a more healthy way to vent. But definitely talk to him about it. The thing is, you have to be brutally honest with him and yourself. Dumping your feelings on the table can be tough, but he can help you. But you have to let him and give him the reins to force you to stop when you are being a jackass..
What I usually do is sit back, relax, smoke some weed, invite like 5 friends over and just have a good clear my mind day and it works every time for me
