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Looking for sex to help come to grips with my sexuality

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by damnfinecoffee, Jul 9, 2014.

  1. damnfinecoffee

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    I'm a virgin and am pretty sure I am gay, but sometimes I'm not completely confident. I'm planning on going to a gay bar (alone) this weekend for the purpose of having sex. Mostly because I think it's going to be pleasurable, but also to help me be more confident about my sexuality.

    Of course the prospect is scary, since this would be my first time at a gay bar or pretty much the first time being around people I know are gay. I'm mostly hoping to hear if this is a horrible idea, but would also like some advice on how the whole spectacle works. Any info would be nice, I'm confused about everything.
     
  2. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Well. Personally I got nothing against casual sex. Hell, my first time was a total hook up I met off an app for Pete's sake.

    So I suppose if you want to, go for it. As long as you practice safe sex. I know if I say "wait for a partner", I'm gonna be a total hypocrite but I dunno. Just be safe. Meet your hook-up in public, get to know him. Try to let someone know where you are and if something doesn't feel right or add up, listen to your gut. Your instincts sometimes do you good. And above all, can't stress enough the importance of being safe. Use protection. Don't let some guy talk you out of it. The penetrating partner should ALWAYS be wearing a condom during casual anal sex and probably during oral too. Sex is amazing but contracting an STI tends to hamper that. Get tested as often as you can. A guy might say he's clean but you're not looking at his latest test result, are you?
     
  3. damnfinecoffee

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    Yeah, obviously I'll be practising safe sex. About that, I assume I should be bringing along lube and condoms? Anyone I'd be meeting would be in the bar, I guess that's public. Thanks a ton for the reply.

    (I posted this same exact thread in the advice forum, I'm not sure what to do about that)
     
  4. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Yeah. Probably should. Even if your hook-up has them, it never hurts to be cautious. Who knows? He could've forgotten. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. damnfinecoffee

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    Yeah thought so. I don't know if you have time to explain, but is it pretty much fine if I show up alone, buy a drink and try to talk to people? Because I've never been to one and am afraid I'll just have no idea what to do. It's anxiety inducing enough that everyone there will now I'm gay.
     
  6. bearhug1994

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    I Would Wait An Let It Happen How It Happens , Don't Force It With Some Random Stranger . For One In A Bar U Never Know What That Dude Has StD Wise. And Another Reason Ur Only 19, U Have Time To Figure Things Out For Yourself IM Sure You'll Meet Someone. Try To Find Someone Online In Your Area And Get To Know Them Better Than A One Night Thing Just As An Experiment. Good Luck And Be safe.
     
  7. YaraNunchuck

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    Maybe you should go for a trial run there first - i.e. be prepared to have sex, but at least for the first time, focus on trying to get to know the place and meeting new people. Do you have any straight friends (as you say you don't know gay people) who can go with you?
     
  8. damnfinecoffee

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    The thing is that I'm travelling alone right now, so the friends who would come with me are not here. Also I'm only staying in the city for two nights (at first), so I won't really have time to get to know the places. I'm aware that that makes the whole idea even more sketchy, but I should be as safe here as anywhere in the end. But I really like the idea of something happening during this trip, I even went to my first pride during it. As for the trial run, I was basically going to try and meet people and see where that leads me anyway.