Mixed messages or in my mind?

I have a best friend that I have known since we were basically kids. We lost contact in our teens and later found each other again years later -- it was as if time never really was lost between us. We've always felt connected not quite as best friends, not quite as family, but something deeper that just connected us. Anyway, my friend "Lara" knows that I'm a lesbian. I would never want to cross that line of trying to hit on her because 1. She identifies as straight although she has said she could "possibly" date a woman. And 2. I love our friendship too much to lose it.

These days though, I've been wondering if there is any possibility that Lara may have more than friendship feelings for me. For example, I told her about how my mother once asked me that since I was a lesbian if it meant that I wanted to be a man. (My mother has come a long way from having no understanding of gay culture, spare her lol). Lara then commented that she wished that I were a man because if I were a man she would date me.

Another time we were talking about movies our favorite happens to be Forrest Gump. I told her - keeping it clear I was referring to the characters as children -- that I was Forrest and she was Jenny. Lara then comments "So minus the dying part?" I respond "Well, yeah, we're the kids versions of them." Then she says "So minus the sex too?" I was a little taken aback, but said, "Minus that too." She then looked upset as if she wished for it, but I brushed it off.

Lara has made it clear she likes men, she's into men, etc. I'm not trying to start anything at all. In a perfect world she would be a lesbian and maybe we would be together, but I'm a realist. The very last thing that made me say "Ok where the f**k do you stand in how you really feel about me?!" was tonight. We skyped as usual, then later texted, then she asked me if I like (for lack of a more graphic wording) pleasuring a woman. I'm an open book, I don't feel ashamed by it so I answer, "Yes". Lara then asked me a little more detail about it to which I answered honestly. Nothing sexual as to me coming onto her or her coming onto me, but that was where the conversation stopped and she must have felt embarrassed to have asked cause she completely fell off the grid. I've decided to just let her be and talk to her tomorrow as usual, but WTF?

We always tell each other that we love each other, we are truly best friends and honestly I do love her, but I'm also realistic. As much as I wish she wanted to be with me, I don't want to be her experiment to figure out if she is into women, or lose her as a friend if that line ever were to get crossed. And I'm not even sure if she actually likes me as more than a friend. Any ideas of what she may be feeling about me cause I'm trying to figure it out without making it up in my head of what all of this comes to mean.:help: