How do you make friends?

I have the same problem. I'm very shy though. I usually just try to talk to the people that are really extroverted and good at holding up the conversation- talking to someone else that is shy or quiet is usually pretty awkward since neither of us knows what to say :lol:
I have the exact same problem with friends not taking their work seriously. I'm one of the only people I know that actually cares about school, and it's really frustrating.

 

Maybe you just want to stand your ground. Others are unsure about themselves, too. Maybe just relax, be friendly and it usually comes back...
to me that also means honoring oneself and in a friendly way saying no if you don't want to continue the discussion any further... even if you say you have to go elsewhere...

Usually people like to be asked some questions... what they like, where they come from etc... just being interested and letting people talk...

"In any case, I think it's because I don't meet many people I'm interested in talking to. "
How could you change this? Are there activities or clubs you could join?

Oh and by the way, there are usually conversation courses available... maybe you can find one where you could train conversation, some even have a cam and give advice on posture etc...
I'm not from the us so I can't give you more details where to find courses...

 

I'm not that great either. I agree with acm sometimes it's easier to talk to people who are really outgoing and talk a lot it's makes things so much easier. Making friends is hard and I get really nervous talking to people too. Maybe you can try to make a study group like for tests and meet other people who care about school too or something like that. Good luck!!!

 

I think the trick is to just open our mouths and talk to people, though I am shy and have social anxiety so I don't have many friends, the few I have usually approached me first and are typically outgoing, but from time to time I have been the first one to talk to some one.
Communication is the key to forming the connection necessary for new friendships.

I want to make more friends because I am the type that longs for romance, yet at the same time I am also the type that only has a desire to date people I am friends with. I get so lonely some times, but not for friendship per say, I just wish I could find a romantic partner.

 

I suppose I'm more friendlier online than in person. Not to say that I'm mean or anything lol but I'm quiet and shy- at first.
Online, I reach out to people and even though conversations are awkward at first, I usually say something random or admit that I don't want to mess up the convo and usually the conversation starts up again.
Offline, I tend to observe more than talk but it's not because I'm unfriendly, I just like to think about what I'm going to say and get a general feel (I'm not actually feeling anyone haha, more like a feel of their personality or the vibe you get from someone) from that person and you can kind of sense who you want to befriend and who will be your friend. I've always trusted that instinct and it's usually spot on.

In school, my friends were all very school-focused and we all studied together but I tended to prefer to study by myself so I don't think I can help you with that one...sorry!

Wish you so much luck!! :3

 

in the beginning of high school, making friends was SO HARD for me

the great thing is that you don't have to put up an act to get someone to like you. You just have to talk to people. You don't have to open up to anyone but you should be honest. Chances are, the other person is just as nervous as you are.

you need to talk to lots of people. People you feel you will end up liking, and people you don't really know about. Don't talk to people that make you nervous.

ask lots of questions. people love to talk about themselves, and they will ask you questions too. that's all there is to it.

then, once you have a few friends, they'll introduce you to more friends and suddenly you'll have like a metric ton of friends. It happens pretty suddenly too.

 

It's easier to make friends as a child. But when we get older, social identities begin to pry us apart from everybody else, so our circle of potential friends shrinks. Eventually, though, you realize (or will) that being around someone, for the sake of being seen as cool or important, is not cool and should not be important. Of course, by this stage, we all are working, heavily invested in post-grade school, perhaps we have families or are beginning a family, basically, we have less time to give, be it for friends or making them.

Others have provided some excellent tidbits, but I would like to add some techniques I've used, and have shared with others, to varying degrees of success. However, keep in mind, this will, ultimately, come down to you.

If you attend high school, you can join clubs. If clubs or after school activities aren't your thing, then just pay attention to where everyone hangs out. For example, when I was in high school, all the Punks tended to hang around by the dumpsters. Keep an eye on these individuals, and notice what they discuss or have on -- this will be your ticket to inserting yourself into the conversation.

If you are in college, this is made much easier, since cliques are less important... well, unless you attend a campus with all those fraternities and sororities. But even then, there are still ample amounts of people not involved with such things. Just be observant and, if you see an opening, take it. But only if you genuinely can contribute something, there is not much more awkward than someone forcing themselves into a conversation. Just play it cool.

With work, all you have to do is catch someone in the right mood. You'll know what the 'right mood' is, when you see it. You can bond over a work project or, hell, even discussing some of the fellow co-workers. Keep in mind, you want to be tact and polite, because being known as the gossip machine isn't going to do you any favors, especially if you want a more genuine friendship.

It really comes down to observing, then making a move. I'll give you a personal example, of how I made a friend.

This fellow used to come to the local community college campus, every morning, with a pair of headphones and his CD player. He and I didn't really cross paths before, but I did notice him. Well, one semester, we had a class together. He didn't sit too close to me, but he was close enough that we could see one another. Anyway, I noticed that he would put his headphones on, after the professor had finished speaking, and left us with free time. One day, I came to class with my own CD player, and did the same thing he was doing. A day or two of this, and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I look up and see it's that fellow, so I remove my headphones and he asks, " Hey, man, what are you listening to? ".

Me, being the witty little devil I can be, reply with: " Well, it definitely wasn't you! ". I then laugh, to show I was kidding. He laughs, too, and the barrier was already breached.

To give you another example:

I was in the public library, working, and this young lady approaches me. Since I work there, it's obviously part of my job to help patrons. This young lady wanted a particular book, which we had, but it had not been properly checked back in. I inform her, that I will go into the back room, find the book, and check in it, so that she can check it out. So far, nothing out of the ordinary, right?

As I'm checking her out at the counter (context is a bitch, LOL), I notice her library card informed me of a fine she had. So, I ask her, " What do you expect to do about this fine? "

She responds, with something along the lines of, she has no idea. I then laugh a little and say, " This is the part where you say, "If it isn't the fine that I look, I have no idea what you're talking about. "

She cracks up, there, and since then, we're pretty cool. I see her every other week, when I do work at the library.

I guess, what it comes down to is, just be genuine and uplifting. As the friendship develops, you can be a little cranky or melancholy, but as we get older, we have smaller windows of opportunity to make an impression, let alone make or keep a friend. Basically, just be the type of person we all could use.

 

I'll just be pithy and say "In order to gain a friend, you merely need to be a friend."

Lex