Hello everyone. I need some advice on a relationship problem. So my roommate was using ****** and found my bf on there and my bf said that he deleted it when we started dating. so i confronted him about it and this is what he said "I didnt delete my account. Just took it off my phone. And I used my ****** anyways to put funny convos on instagram so who cares." He lied to me right there. Also the song "i only like you when you are wasted" is how i feel in the relationship. He only wants to kiss or do anything when he is wasted. I feel connected to him rarely. Sometimes its great. Other times its like im not even in the same room as him. We ended up going with some friends for some drinks on a hill at night and he didnt even sit by me. But then other times we have the best talks and he takes me out and buys me tats and stuff. Im so confused. I dont know what to do. Anyone help me on this?
Sounds more like a FWB rather than a BF.... Perhaps you should change the relationship to be more casual? I know that probably isn't the answer you wanted. In truth it sounds like he isn't that serious. I'll assume the app in question is one of the "hook-up" type apps on mobile devices. If that is the case, I'd likely suspect him of being less than dedicated to you two being a couple.
It doesn't sound like he's taking your relationship very seriously. I think you need to decide what you are looking for and if he doesn't fulfill that role, then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.
I agree with HTBO. This isn't someone who is interested in a serious relationship, but is looking for convenience. (and this, unfortunately, is pretty much what you're going to find on the various hookup/dating apps.) Additionally... authenticity and integrity are pretty much the core of any relationship worth having, and it sounds like your boyfriend is lacking in both. I think it's time to re-evaluate. And I think you can do a lot better.
I'm not so sure I agree with everyone that your bf is a bad person. My partner and I have never sat next to each other when out with friends, we can do that when we are alone. Also, I don't see his wanting to only do things with you when he is wasted as meaning he doesn't find you attractive. I actually see it as the opposite. He's inhibited for some reason when he is sober and let's his true feelings for you come out when he is wasted. In vino veritas. Now, I'm not saying he's not a pain in the ass bf but I think everyone is coming down a bit too hard on him. You might just want/expect different things in a relationship.
just so everyone knows. He had a phone of mine and after getting it back and seeing the texts that he has been giving. we have broke up. Im sad because i tired but I think that right now I should work on myself as well as he needs to work on himself. It sucks but sadly its what it is.
I'm sorry it ended as it did, and I know it must hurt. It's insightful and definitely the right choice to recognize that you need to do some self-work. If you can put real energy into that, I think you'll find yourself attracting much healthier people.
I agree with Chip, it's unfortunate it had to end this way. Good for you for recognizing that you need to work on yourself right now. Self improvement is always a positive change, and as Chip said you will attract healthier people. Always be good to yourself
