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Is There Something I Should Know…?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by InLoveWithRed, Jul 19, 2014.

  1. …About picking up women?

    I am a female (early 20s) and I have recently stopped denying my bisexuality, and I have begun to accept this about me. I messed around with girls a bit when I was a young teenager, and after that I dated only men, but I want to try again as an adult and as a identified bisexual.

    I'm really scared to go to a club or something and try to pick up a woman. I have no idea what to do or say. I'm planning on going to a gay club, so worrying if they are actually gay isn't the problem, its just that I don't know how to pick up a girl.

    I'm an attractive girl, so that shouldn't be a problem, but I'm not always very smooth with my words. Is there anything I should know about how to go about this? :/
     
  2. Budweiser

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    I want to know the same thing. Honestly, the thought of picking up women terrifies me! I'm kind of girly so I don't even know if I'm suppose to approach.

    Anyway, I think the best advice I've ever heard for approaching women is to get rejected.

    What I mean by that is, if you can not give two shits of a pretty girl says to get lost when you approach her, you'll be 10x more attractive because that is confidence baby! So if you don't think a girl will respond to you go to her anyway, getting used to rejection takes practice.
     
  3. Monraffe

    Regular Member

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    Confidence is very helpful but remember the bottom line is you always miss every shot you don't take. Technically there's no difference in asking and getting rejected and not asking and not having anyone know you are alive. So you might as well try. :icon_bigg

    One problem a lot of people have is they put too much weight on the asking out part. You can overcome this by reducing your expectations. Think of a date as little more that going to dinner to get to know someone. All asking someone out expresses is that you find them interesting and you think they might be a good companion for an evening. Nothing more. So if they reject you then don't worry about it. All you have lost is an evening of potential fun. Simply move on and look for someone else.

    I've always found a good way to reduce expectations is by anticipating rejection (that's different from expecting rejection). Think of it as a numbers game. Pick a number, let's say 10. Tell yourself you have a one in 10 chance with any particular woman. So, with that in mind set yourself a goal, say within the next six months you want to go on a date. This means you need to be asking women out at a rate of about two per month to have a reasonable chance to reach your goal. That may sound like a lot but remember you goal is to reduce expectations so to do that you have to put less thought and planning behind each offer. It's perfectly normal to ask someone out the first night you meet them.

    Now, as far as locating women, social gatherings are good but the best and fastest way is to make friends with connections. So make making friends who know women a top priority. Good luck and have fun on your search!
     
  4. Thanks for the advice :slight_smile: