1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Do people not talk about me!?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Sully, Jul 22, 2014.

  1. Sully

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2013
    Messages:
    663
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    In the last week, I've had two good friends, who I assumed had been told I was gay, be seemingly ignorant to the fact I was gay.

    The first, I was talking to, she relayed about a story of how she was talking about a sex to a guy who she later found out was gay, she made note of the fact that when she found out about his sexuality, that it was weird that he had been talking about 'boy on boy' sex. I sat there just thinking, surely someone's told you I'm gay...

    The second time, I was out for to get some drinks with mates and a couple of us were talking about how we've had infected throats and gross tonsils with pus. I mentioned that I'd been poking at mine with a cotton bud to try and clean them, and my friend said 'it's a shame your not gay, you could clean them whilst sucking dick'. I just sat there thinking, surely someone's told you I'm gay...

    I suppose I'm not really seeking advice. I jus found it weird that maybe people don't gossip as much as I'd expected. I just assumed that it's the kind of thing that finds it's way around. Maybe not?
     
  2. Peacemaker

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Georgia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    why could you have told them?
     
  3. Budweiser

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2014
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado, USA
    Why do you want people to gossip about you o.0 maybe you're a bit narcissistic and should seek advice on what to do about that. And I want to make it clear that I say that with good intentions, and not accusing or judging or anything like that.
     
  4. Pax

    Pax
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2014
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South-West England, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I know the feeling, it happens to me too...

    I think it's probably a good sign actually - it's evidence of the times we live in, where sexuality is becoming less and less gossip-worthy... :slight_smile:


    I think it's not so much about being narcissistic as feeling as though you would prefer people to find out that you're gay without you having to keep coming out to everyone all the time. You can start to feel like a broken record after a while and for some people, explaining that you're gay never really stops being stressful. I usually prefer people to find out in a way that doesn't involve us having to have an intense discussion about it.
     
  5. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's a weird sort of megalomania that we seem to have. We tend to view people solely in context of ourselves. So every time somebody shares space with us, we think we're being sized up and judged and whatever else. So you see somebody glance over your way, and you might think "He's looking at me. He's laughing at my hair, because it's doing that weird sproinky thing. And this shirt - I HATE this shirt. WHY DID I WEAR THIS SHIRT?! Now he thinks I'm an utter loser." And the guy is probably just taking note of the fact that somebody is over there...and perhaps freaking out that YOU might be judging HIM. :slight_smile:

    Similarly, it's easy to think that our lives are the main grist for the mill - especially our sexualities. But especially these days, it tends not to be the case. They've got other things to hold their interest. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  6. Sully

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2013
    Messages:
    663
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I never suggested that I wanted people to talk about, purely just surprised that they hadn't. A lot of my friends do gossip a bit, so I assumed that more people would've spoken about it.

    That is spot on.