Hi. So over the weekend I went to youth group at my church and my youth pastor was talking to us and somehow he starting talking about lgbt and how sinful yet alluring the lifestyle is to some people and how his brother was gay. I mean I knew my church wasn't pro lgbt but I never knew they were this bad and everyone else starting sharing about how wrong it is and I feel like I knew they thought this but hearing everyone say it really messed me up and I felt like they knew about me. I don't even want to say some of the stuff they said it was so horrible. And one of my sort of friends in group was saying all these things about it. Lately I keep thinking if it's possible to not be how I am now when I grow up? I just don't know anymore. Does anyone else come from religious families? Now I'm scared my family is going to find out and people at church and school are going to find out and how much they will all hate me I'm really scared I've been praying a lot lately to see if it might help but I don't know what will help. I can't believe I never really knew how much everyone I know thought this was so horrible
I come from a Christian family and still hide my sexuality from them but other than them i am open because i realized that being open does make things better. I mean there are going to be haters but some will always find a reason to hate you. I not trying to pressure you to come out im just saying over time it gets easier and better, every time you come out you'll feel a lot better because it gives you another place where you don't have to pretend to be someone else. So, i guess my point is dont worry about people finding out because it will always get better
I'm sorry your going through this and I went through the same thing as you ,only difference is I did not know I was a lesbian at that age . But I remember sitting there and hearing the most awful stuff they were saying, thinking how can people hate a group of people like that . I no longer go to that church anymore but that same pastor wants to be in my life and wants me to come back to his church ,so I know I will be in the same situation as you . The best thing I can tell you to do is try to stay strong and not internalize it just say to yourself that these people are ignorant and do not know how to truly love their fellow man. I know it's hard but when you feel down say that or come here and talk to one of us . I know that age being closeted if feels only , I'm even at the point where my parents are trying to force me to go back to that hateful church .
I'm really sorry, I was raised buddhist and my buddhist youth group was super cool (like half of the girls were gay and sent there by parents who wanted them to accept themselves). Just know that although this culture probably seems like the whole world, it isn't. And within this group there are allies, even if there are only a few. Try to find those people. Don't sacrifice who you are for ignorant and intolerant people. You will grow up and you will be able to choose a life in which you are accepted and loved. Hang in there *hugs you*
I was already hearing hurtful words from the church at your age as well. I am still not out to my family. My father is a pastor and my mum is a devoted christian. I realised that as time pass by you get used to it but that doesn't mean that I have tolerated their ignorance and homophobic remarks. Because I never spoke up to their comments I just learned to roll my eyes out whenever a preacher talks about how "ridiculous" it is to have gay marriage whilst the church laughs in agreement. Silence may not be the best defense but it certainly made me learn to be stronger and tougher and able to control my emotions. Hang in there, there are churches who support the LGBT community. You are not alone.
The good news is you *realise* they are messing with your head Group/ peer pressure of the worst kind Try not to let it get you down. See it for what it is. Try and compensate by surrounding yourself with positive people outside of these groups.
