It's been long due, but I thought she might care about me at least a little. Despite how she treats me and all the insults she throws at me. Today I realized that she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself and her reputation. We had a huge argument and I was at my limit. She didn't listen to anything I was saying. I nearly wanted to kill myself. It's something I thought about before and she triggers it. I feel ten times worse when I'm around her. So here I am saying to her that I don't even want to live anymore and all she says to me is to keep it down because the neighbors are going to hear and that they're going to laugh at me. How can a person be so heartless and cruel and to her own daughter? I was so angry, I even wanted to tell her I'm gay just to upset her. That would be a bad way to come out though. And now I'm never coming out to her because I don't consider her my mother anymore. I don't want to be related to a horrible person like her. All she does is try to make me feel bad about myself. I kept forgiving her all these years because she's my mother. I can't do this anymore. It's better to not have a mother than to have a mother like that.
My mom acts the same way,I don't want to come out to her either. I think parents like that should be kicked out of our lives.
Hey! I can understand what you must be going through. But expecting parents to change after a certain age wont get you anything. They think they are trying to make life better for us.. and everything they do is for our happiness but they cant accept the simple fact that somethings should be left to us and we know better than them what makes us happy. But that's how they are i think... we at this age are more adaptable and flexible. To some extent i feel its not even fair to expect them to be cool or adaptable and accept everything we throw at them. However there are people who are lucky to have extremely understanding parents. Try to avoid getting into an argument with your Mom it'll only make things worse for you. Who else is there in your family.. anyone you are comfortable discussing and share your thoughts? Or how about moving out and living on your own to figure out things for you?
I had to do the same thing with my father. Neither of my parents have ever been "parent of the year" but in the past two years my father has done some horrible things to my mother, sister, and I. I tried to make it work with him for as long as I could, mainly for my little sister's sake. But after he purposefully hit me with his car a year ago and kidnapped my sister, that was the final straw for me. Many people try to tell me that I need to get in contact with him eventually, and that I need to have a relationship with him because he's my father. I'm sure you will get this from a lot of people too. I have gotten a lot of crap from testifying against him in court as well. The way I started explaining it to people is that he obviously doesn't care about me enough for me to try to care about him. Yes he may be my father in the sense that he impregnated my mother and I was created, but he will NEVER be my dad. I think you are on the right track with realizing, just as I had to, that you do not need someone who harms you and brings you so much negativity in your life regardless of who they may be. This is something that nobody should have to go through. As children, we are taught to love our parents no matter what and that they will always be there for us. Unfortunately, sometimes parents cannot live up to their end of the deal. If you need to talk to somebody who has already been there, you can contact me whenever More power to you, and I wish you much luck!
What your father did sounds awful. I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to contact him after that. I agree some parents do more bad than good. While you're kid you don't have much of a choice, as an adult you do. So if I don't want my mother to be a part of my life anymore, I can choose that. You're right, I don't know what I was hoping for. That she'd finally understand that she's hurting me. And it's not that I like arguing with her, she makes an argument out of everything. I can't be her puppet and do everything she says. She wasn't always that bad. I think she might need professional help and meds. She has trouble controlling her anger. It's not just me, she's being horrible to other family members too.
In my family, my mom cut out her mother for the same reasons. My grandmother accused family members of doing unspeakable things and refused to apologize for it. Basically it got to the point where it was her mom or her family. And my mom chose her family and husband. I can tell you that life went on without my grandmother in my moms life and life was a much happier place. Life is too short to live in fear that people are going to be awful to you. Best advice is to move on with your life and put some distance between you. Once you find your happy place, you can carve out a place in your life that is more controlled to deal with that person if you choose to have a relationship with them. Sometimes even awful people have a place in your life. Sometimes it is to use them as the example of what NOT to ever do. Just make sure you keep them at a distance that keeps their hateful lives from coming back onto you...
