My Brother

Aw.... I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hate lung cancer, well, any type of cancer. Any sickness. I hope he does accept treatment. I'm sorry.

(*hug*)

 

What terrible news.

I hope he goes for treatment - is he getting all the right advice?

And you .. are you needing some help>?? Some cancer charities will counsel relatives or just give advice.

Or if you have a therapist already it would be very helpful.

(*hug*)

 

I'm really sorry to hear this sad news. Cancer is terrible - I lost my Mother, Sister and Grandmother to different types of cancer (my Grandmother was Lung Cancer) and it hurts so very much.

Do you know what the prognosis is for your Brother? What advice has he been given by surgeons and oncologists? This could be key to your Brother's current mindset.

I know you are worried that he may suffer, but this need not happen if he receives good palliative care. Even if he doesn't wish to fight the cancer, there is no reason why he shouldn't accept treatment to relieve pain and make him more comfortable.

This will be a incredibly stressful time for you, but don't bottle up your feelings and try to get some rest too. It's very easy to burn out (physically and emotionally) when you are caring for somone with cancer and that will not help anyone.

I've been on this journey myself, so if you need a listening ear or someone to vent at who kind of understands, don't hesitate to message me.

(*hug*)

 

Depending on the prognosis and the stage of the cancer, it is possible that treatment will only cause unnecessary suffering without any hopes of improvement. I know it can be difficult to accept that he doesn't want to receive treatment, but sometimes it just isn't the answer. Palliative care is excellent for providing comfort, not only in the final days, but even to help with the symptoms he may experience leading up to that. I understand how you feel, he's very young and this is completely unexpected. As there are different stages in coming out, there are also different stages of grief. Allow yourself to feel the loss and to say good-bye when it's time and love and cherish every moment you have now. I know this can be very painful and difficult, but it's best for him to respect his wishes and don't make him feel guilty about it. I agree with the above, some form of counseling will help you to cope with this. I know this will sound strange, but try to make this time memorable in a good way so that you can look bad not only with sadness but also with some smiles. I'm a nurse, and I have been around a lot of loss and sadness which is why I have given you the above advice. I understand or at least I'm familiar with what you are going through now and what will come as his cancer progresses. I also am familiar with what he is probably experiencing which is why I stress the importance of respecting his wishes; he probably took a lot of time and consideration in deciding not to pursue treatment, but also acceptance of his mortality.
If you ever need to talk, send me a message.

 

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine how awful that must be. In the end I suppose it is his choice if he wants treatment or not, but if it's at an early stage then I would highly encourage him to get it.

 

First off, I'm very sorry to hear this. A poster above equated this experience with coming out, and it's pretty much the same psychological processes at play here - grief. In this case, you're grieving the loss of your brother (his lack of treatment could be due to the stage of the cancer, how aggressive it is, etc). In the coming out situation, you're grieving the loss of your straight identity.

There are five stages to processing a loss like this, and it helps to be fully aware of what they are - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Some of these last longer than others, and the process is different for every person and every situation.

At the moment, it seems that you're handling this in the best way possible, and I would advise that you concentrate what time your brother has left on building happy memories of him, and remembering him for the good things in his life. It's easy to let the negative end-of-life stuff overshadow all the good times that he's had. While his life thus far hasn't been long, I'm sure there's lots of good things about it

(*hug*) (*hug*)

 

I am so sorry, my Mom has stage 4 lung cancer. It has been a tough battle but she is responding to treatment. I know this is a tough place to be in, if you want to talk or need information feel free to message me. I am sorry, you are in my thoughts.

 

I'm so sorry. <3 Love your brother, and be strong for him.
We're all here for you.

Thoughts go out to you and your family.