I posted a thread about my son watching gay porn and it was moved to the parents forum. I wanted to get advice from men/women that are gay not necessarily other parents. Wondering how many of you watched gay porn and at what age did you start? Do you know anyone that is straight that watches gay porn?
I first watched straight porn when I was about 11, but it didn't do anything for me. When I turn 12, I visited my first gay porn website, it was chilling because it was such a taboo thing for me and thus was scary, but eventually that's all I could watch. For years (10 years exactly) I continued to watch straights and gay porn, but finally realized that straight porn did nothing for me and that I was torturing myself watching something that really didn't stimulate me. Now I've been watching gay porn, though I'm done with it for awhile. I really have no idea if a straight man watches gay porn. Although some may differ, if you're sexually aroused by two men giving each other pleasure, even if you aren't gay, that means you might actually have some kind of a homosexual leaning. Perhaps your son is bisexual and he's exploring that territory.
I guess you could say that. I think that I started at 9. Well, looking at it, but not knowing what to do with it. (I was a clueless child)
I don't think posting in the parents forum would make it more likely for you to get responses from parents. That's just where parents are supposed to start threads about their LGBT children. Mostly gay people who are not parents respond. Never did. Nope. ---------- Post added 27th Jul 2014 at 08:35 PM ---------- You might want to start a poll on this thread.
I was a bit older the first time I actually watched a porn. I watched straight porn first (my cousins found it in my Uncle's room and they were super giddy about "oooh let's see what it is!) and that was a huge defining moment for me that I was not straight in the slightest. I would say I was about 13 when this happened. I probably watched my first gay porn sometime within that same year. However, my interest in other types of porn sparked way before that instance. Before that, I would look up pictures of things I found sexually exciting. Before that, it was dirty stories on the internet (still is the #1 thing that satisfies me out of any outlet). When I started looking at porn in these contexts, I was about 10 if not a bit younger.
My parents didn't get the internet at home until I was 16, so that's when I started looking at porn. This was dialup days - so it was only pictures and the occasional tiny, pixilated video. I started off looking at straight porn, but often found my eyes going towards the men in the pictures. I think it took me until 17 to actually look at pictures of naked men on their own or with other men. If I think about it, if today's internet was around back then - I probably would have started looking and finding out what I was attracted to a lot earlier than I did. Probably would have been 12 or 13. I think if I'd had the information and support (sites like this) and the ability to have "private online experimentation", I would have become comfortable with my sexuality earlier. I am and always have been a very introverted person too, so finding things out on my own, reading, chatting and just exploring my curiosity have always been my preferred way of learning. Hope that helps. Peace! (*hug*)
Well, about 14, which is right about when I hit puberty, though it wasn't exactly porn, more like... erotic imagery. You know, suggestive poses, skimpy clothing. I used the fact that it wasn't technically pornographic to deny the fact that I was more or less gay. (Sexuality is really confusing so I won't worry you with my story of denial and technicalities, just keep in mind that it is insanely complex.) I can't say any of my straight friends watch gay porn, but I don't exactly discuss their "private habits" with them, but I do know of gay folks that watch straight porn (it appeared in the anonymous section a few times). One other peculiarity that may interest you: once I found something I liked, I stuck with it for a while, even if it was not particularly good. I would come back to the same thing maybe 50 times before I continued exploring.
Ok. First of all u are an amazing mom, for real, I wish my mom was a little bit more like u cause she is more of the ''if I dont think or talk about it, its not happening'' kind of person, and she is super homophobic so yeah, u are amazing. I kinda feel weird talking about this, cause like... what can I tell u? But I really felt the need of giving u an answer (I almost never post). I started watching porn around 10 or 11 yro. Straight at first, gay at 12yro. I know its for +18, everyone does but I'm sorry, the world works that way. All of your concerns are completely acceptable but honestly, if ANYONE in my family sat with me to talk about porn and sexuality it would be super uncomfortable and I'm 16. At 12 its even worse. Still, if he really is gay or bi I assure you that time is gonna come when he thinks about it, and he's gonna be like ''Oh, my mom is okay with it, at least I can count with someone''. The fact that ur blocking him the porn... well, I wont be the one to tell u how to be a mom. If thats how u want it then its fine, its ur house and it works under ur rules. To be honest sometimes I wished I havent seen so many porn as a kid but at the end everyone grows up and I feel like Im even less sex obsessed and more romantic than my straight friends. Your son, will be fine, be supportive of his sexuality but not intruding, I assure you he's going to talk whenever he feels ready. Dont check his personal things, I understand why you did it, but everyone (even 12yro boys) deserve some privacy. At least that lead to this and u telling him that it was ok to be gay. If he's saying he's straight (watching that many gay porn) Its probably because like I said, talking about it with ur mom is sooo uncomfortable. And if he's even just discovering it maybe he himself isnt ready to accept it. Thats a personal journey he'll do on his own. You just be there for him whenever he needs you and be supportive. Good luck with everything ur son is lucky to have you
As I mentioned in the other thread, there was a study done several years back with a fairly large sample size, and about 40% of kids (more so boys than girls) had watched porn by age 12. Informally, from what I've seen discussed here on EC, we seem to have more than a few who have seen porn by age 10 or so, and 12 (and puberty, and the masturbation that goes with it) seems to be a fairly common age at which kids start to watch porn. There have been a number of studies with very conflicting results as to whether or not there's negative long-term effect. For a very, very small percentage of people (less than 3%, according to one study I read), there is a risk of addiction to porn, but that group is also at risk for other addictions as well so I don't think it is the porn itself that is implicated. There is also concern about the misconceptions that porn can create surrounding how relationships work, what sex should look like, body image issues, and other factors that porn can influence negatively, but much of these issues are also fueled by media and advertising and culture, so it's arguable how much effect porn itself has. It does seem fairly likely that if he's been watching it for a month and masturbating to it, that he's attracted to men; if he could find gay porn, he could just as easily find straight porn, and if you didn't see any of those sorts of sites in his browser, then it seems like he may already have a sense of what he's attracted to. That said, he may not yet be comfortable admitting it even to himself, so I'd tread lightly. On the issue of censoring his access... that can go both ways. If he feels a strong need to go to these sites, he may just find other ways to do so (friends houses, his phone or tablet, etc.) so it might be better to have a talk with him about developing a healthy relationship with porn and his sexuality rather than trying to ban it altogether. I think it's great that you are here trying to find the best information you can. These sorts of issues are a minefield and you're doing a good job so far of navigating it, so give yourself a pat on the back and just keep at it
I was either 13 or 14 when I started watching porn (gay porn), yet I didn't admit to myself that I'm gay until I was 18.
The first time I've ever viewed porn is when I was 15 or 16. But I'm female. It probably would've been sooner if I were male. XD
At 13, I started watching straight porn and only at 15 or such did I start watching gay porn. I can watch anything exept lesbian porn. But at the same time, I'm not fully gay or straight.
