This isn't LGBT related at all but I just need some advice about what to do here... Basically, my friend didn't get into the college she wanted, and her parents, who are usually pretty nice people in general, have come down on her quite hard about this, and they keep making comments about it and saying pretty hurtful things to her. And now she is very sad all the time and she doesn't take an interest in the things she used to, if she ever laughs at my jokes or anything it feels like she's just putting on a brave face, and I can't get her to take interest or find happy things in life. Her self esteem has gone down so much, it's scaring me a little. She was never like this before and it all seems like it's because of this college thing. All of us were going through weird moodswingy patches when we were waiting for the results to come and things, but she didn't get the one she was hoping for, and it seems like the sad listlessness has just stayed with her instead of going away like it did for the rest of us. No matter how much I try to tell her it doesn't matter, and the college she's going to is a good one in any case, nothing seems to bring her energy back to her. I've tried everything... I've talked to her, gone to her house a lot, I made her brownies once, we've tried watching movies and things but if she ever feels good, it's only ever temporary. Does anyone have any advice on how I could help her feel better about this? I really feel that if her parents didn't talk about it the way they're doing, that she would feel much better but I don't know what to do about it.
I'm new to this site, but if I were you I'd keep on doing what you're doing. Her parents seem like a friend's parents of mine, just not as mean. Just keep doing what you're doing, hopefully she'll see that the college she was hoping isn't a HUGE deal. I mean, of course, it's a big deal, but we don't always get what we want. I hope everything ends up great in the end!!!!!!!
It sounds like you're already doing everything you can to be a good friend. I think at this point she just needs to realize on her own that it's going to be ok. She got into a different school, it sounds like, so she will be going to college, just not the one she preferred. You're right that her parents constantly hounding her are probably making it a lot worse, and unfortunately you can't really control them. I'm not sure what the requirements are, but if she is still dead set on getting into that particular school she may be able to transfer after her first year at the other school, or even just reapply next year. That's something she'd have to look into to see if it's an option. I think it will be more likely, though, that once she goes away to the school she did get into she's going to 1. get away from her parents and their terrible attitudes and 2. build a new life there that she will be happy with.
She's not going to move out though, the college she got is in huge city so she'll still be living with her parents for the next three years. I just hope they don't continue saying things like this because it's really this that is stopping her from getting out of this belief that she has no capacity to do anything worthwhile.
Hello friend! I'm not sure how i always miss your threads. Okay well, looks like you are already doing your best to comfort her, you cant control her emotions or disappointments, as i know I have myself experienced it when i did not get into the college(s) i wanted. but you know what, all that matters is if we have chosen the right path.. right career. a college reputation cannot shape our career..it can only extend a little help in achieving it. At the end its us.. nothing can stop her in achieving she has wished for. I was over it in like just 2 months i'm sure she'l be great as the time goes by.. and once she makes new friends. And about her parents, I think she need to be strong and tell them that she wont let the college ranking or reputation decide her future. She is the one who can help boost their morale up. Sometimes children need to comfort and assure their parents and tell them that everything will be okay
Do you know her parents personally, or just saw them a few times? If you know them, you could tell them what you told us here and explain that she's really down and that they are not making the situation any better by being so harsh on her.
