This is my first post here, I don't really have anyone in my life who would understand this and I need to rant. So being gay is hard enough. I just find it so unlikely that I will ever find someone. I'm extremely picky. I'm 20 now and ever since I was a little girl, I've only been attracted to one very specific type of woman looks and personality wise. I didn't even notice how much I'm only attracted to certain looks until I started thinking about all the crushes I've ever had in my life and realized that they all more or less have the same facial features if you look hard enough. The type of girls I'm attracted to aren't really easy to come by - I've only ever had about 7 crushes my entire life. I'm not attracted to anyone randomly. I never understood people how people can find so many people attractive and even at the same time, it's unfathomable to me. Story of my life has been the following ever since I was about 8: I would become painfully infatuated with one girl and desire her with every fiber of my being to the point of pain, butterflies and everything and it would last for about 2-3 years. Then it would suddenly go away and I would soon find another girl I would fall completely in love with and it would last for years again. These girls have been friends, teachers, celebrities. I'm currently infatuated with this girl and she is SO totally my type and I'm so insane about her but she's never going to be mine. And it hurts so much to be so obsessed with her. I don't know how to make it go away. It's the worst feeling in the world. Even if a girl who's right for me would come along I would ignore her because I literally can't look at anyone else besides this one girl I'm in love with and it will probably not go away for at least another year or two and it's getting on my nerves. I hate myself so much for being like this and I feel like my pickiness means I will never get a girlfriend. I have talked about this to a few people and I've pretty much been dismissed like 'you need to see the good in women' 'you're delusional' 'don't be so picky' but my god, it's not like I want to be this way, but I can't help who I'm attracted to. This girl consumes all my thoughts and I just can't function at all, no matter how much I try to distract myself. It's so bad I just want to curl up and cry. I'm not really looking for any advice, I just needed to rant and if anyone else is the same I wouldn't feel so alone I guess. :bang:
Yes, i know that feeling well, and I am also very picky. I just began coming out in March and realizing I'm gay in October (I'm 37). As much as I would like to have a gf and explore all that I have missed out on, I want to wait until I find what I am looking for. I have spent my entire life settling with men who weren't even close to what I want. Unfortunately, I did not realize then that being male was not on my list of what I required I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting for someone who is right for you. You won't be alone forever, you will find what you are looking for. I've had a crush which consumed all my time and thoughts, so I know how you feel. Try to take care of yourself and do activities you like, become involved in something to help take your mind of her. I'm sure you've probably already done this, but don't give up. Keep looking for something that will distract you and allow you to focus on you while you're waiting for your future lady
Same here. I've been so hurt that I don't know if I'll ever fall in love again. The problem is that I ended up loving the person (woman) I couldn't have. And it's frustrating at some point but I don't give it much meaning to my life because I'm busy with studying. So I learned to live my life without that one special person. The most important thing is to value and enjoy life whether alone or in company. I know you won't ever feel alone here.
I'm the same way. I've had plenty of crushes within my life and all are stocky/average size. I'm rarely attracted to someone who isn't of those body types, to be honest, I can't recall myself being sexually attracted to someone whose skinny. It makes me seem shallow but I try not to be, it's just a preference I've had every since literally elementary haha.
