Keep questioning myself even when before I was sure

Okay so I keep saying I'm gay and want a relationship with a man but every now and then my brain decides to go are u sure your gay? I'm sexually attracted to women at all I know that much. I've dated a few women in the past but cld nvr see myself with them long term. I get excited when I see a man and my first thought is oh he's cute or sexy or something then I end up looking at him and going oh nice legs or sexy voice and so on but with women's I just go oh cute dress or whatever and keep on walking. I stayed away from m/m fanfictions just to be sure and it hasn't gone away. I keep asking these questions but really don't know who else to ask! I'm so confused and just want to be myself and not keep questioning myself at random times! I have gotten better at liking myself and my looks were I can look in the mirror and say damn I look good! So that's a momentous achievement! It just seems life likes to put tons of road blocks in front of me whenever I achieve something lol. The. There are the times I get depressed and lonely I just want a big strong man to hold me and say it's alright or to be able to cry and let him soothe me if that makes any sense. Hope I put this question in the right thread didn't know we're else to put it that would make sense. Thanks for reading this far if you got this far lol!