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Self-Consciousness and Clothing Choice

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Nychthemeron, Aug 2, 2014.

  1. Nychthemeron

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    I get self-conscious. A lot. Randomly. It stems from my dysphoria.

    And my mother always yells at me for my clothing choice. She says I'm stupid for it, that she's embarrassed, and that she just doesn't want others to think I'm weird.

    I don't know what to do about it, honestly. How can I stop being so self-aware? And how can I convince my mother to let me wear what I want?
     
  2. Really

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    "I'm not hurting anyone by dressing like this. Nobody is dying. I'm not commiting any crime. I'm young and am developing my own style. It will change over time but this is how it is now. They're just clothes. Please let me do this myself. It makes me happy. There's no reason to be embarrassed, you're not dressing me. I take full responsibility for this look."
     
  3. hip2hop

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    I don't think you can stop yourself from being so self-aware, because you are who you are. Have you told your mother how you really feel? If you haven't I think you should start there and perhaps give her some resources for her to read so that she understands better. If she still doesn't understand and says you are "stupid" for doing what makes you feel comfortable then you can always try incorporating clothes that she doesn't approve of slowly, and build up from there until one day you are wearing everything you want :slight_smile:
     
  4. asdfghjk

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    Keep wearing it. You feel really awkward and noticable at first but if you keep doing it those feelings hopefully go away and you feel comfortable. Your mother wont (reasonably) rip the clothes off your body. You arent stuoid or weird so fuck that noise : ") I bet you lool wonderful dressing how you like!
     
  5. Nychthemeron

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    I will guarantee you that I will stumble over the words, but I'll try to say something along the lines of that. Haha. Thank you very much.

    Well, no. I'm afraid she won't take me seriously. What I want to wear is a jacket - preferably one with fur (faux, don't worry haha) lining on its hood. Thing is, those are usually winter jackets, and it's still summer here. It just makes me feel less nervous, that's all. I did mention that, but she just told me to 'learn to get used to it'... so... either she's wrong or I'm wrong. Or maybe we're both wrong. I don't know.

    I'm actually the opposite. It makes me feel less awkward and less noticeable, haha. I don't hate for my mother to be disappointed in me, and what she says ("People will think I'm an irresponsible mother") sort of makes sense, too.
     
  6. asdfghjk

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    In that case definitely keep doing! Anyone who thinks she is irresponsible for letting you wear clothes you pick, something most parents stop trying tobpolice at age like five, is a loser :v
     
  7. PlantSoul

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    Wear what you want. I certainly had any clothing clashes with my family when I was younger, (still do actually). Eventually, after much arguing and tears, I would be allowed to wear something else from the men's section. It's hard talking about bringing up fashion with them, since they get disappointed and don't understand why I want so badly to wear unisex/men's clothing. I've realized that they will probably never accept or understand what is going on with my choices, so I am going to do what make me happy, and not the other way around. Your mom may not like it, much less understand it, but with time, she may just learn to tolerate it.
     
  8. black-cat

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    Do whatever YOU want and makes YOU feel good. (As long as it is legal LOL) You're body, your rules. Ignore your mother, she will get over it. Being self conscious is crippling and if your clothing choice makes you feel more comfortable in your own body - something that is unfortunately very rare- keep at it! I understand it will be hard 'disobeying' your mum, but it will be worth it if it makes you happier.
     
  9. indie

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    It took years for my mum to let me pick out my own clothes, it may take time
     
  10. Nychthemeron

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    Sorry for the late response, but thank you, everyone. (*hug*)