Its been a while since my last visit and post here in EC. So, let me say hi to some of my friends here. I missed this forum. I just wanted to get some advices, help, or maybe tips regarding my anxiousness in public. I used to be very confident, feeling assured in everything I do, have that "I don't care" behavior before, when I'm in public. I don't really know what affected my social interacting behaviors towards other people. Some people said this is just a phase of someone who just came out of the closet to someone, some said that maybe I have insecurities about myself or maybe my appearance, but for me I'd pick the coming out from the closet, as the reason of my severe anxiety. I really want to resolve this disorder myself, as soon as possible. It greatly affects my relationship with others. I feel very awkward in everything I do, when I'm out alone in public places, talking to strangers who asks some questions to me. I can't describe how it feels, but I don't really know how to act naturally when talking to other people especially in stores, school staff. my teachers and some students who knows me. I feel anxious in everything I do, I stutter a lot, when I speak to them, I can't look straight into their faces, I do some weird things with my hands that I can't control. I'm not depressed with my life, I'm quite happy and fine with my life right now. Its just that, I'm really afraid of people's reactions towards me. I'm really scared about - "What if they knew I was gay? Is he/she noticing that I'm gay?" These things really bother me when I'm outside home. Are there any advices you guys/gals can give so I would feel less anxious in public? Thanks in advance.
Hello. I'm pretty new here but I wanted to show you some support. It's normal that you feel awkward sometimes, it's a part of growing up. I used to be a very social person, now I'm not so much. We change while we grow up, it's nothing unusual and there's no reason for you to be worried about it. Second, I really think you shouldn't bother yourself with other people's reactions towards you. If you know you're just the way you are, if you've accepted yourself then other people will too. Or maybe not, but that's not your problem. I used to think the same way, I should be more secret about being gay and act differently. I can tell you, no one is worth your pretending to be someone you're not. Always be yourself, appreciate yourself and don't worry about what other people think. I wish you all the best! Hope to see you around here, enjoy!
Hello Kumusta, I can see where you are coming from and I also suffer from social anxiety due to being paranoid on people finding out about my sexuality but all of those seem to stem on paranoia in general. Have you considered talking to those people who you came out to about your anxiety? I think this may not necessarily help what you are dealing with but It can give them idea on what you are dealing with. I can only give you some things that I do to minimise my anxiety and I usually chew gum or try to eat on something so to distract myself from thinking too much and it helps. My psychologist gave me this assignment and that is to walk around in a crowded public place and don't talk to anyone and just stay there for 15 minutes. The first few sessions were a bit hard for me but I was able to pull it off and it seemed to have made me feel a bit at ease in a public place. Another thing she recommended was when you are talking to someone, try looking at the top of their head if you cannot maintain an eye contact. I wish you all the luck.
Hello! Looks like the Filipino community here in EC is growing, Thanks for your advice. Maybe I'll try the test your psychologists gave to you, or maybe I'll chew a gum instead. Thanks! I appreciate it, really. :lol:
