This is sort of a continuation of my first post, but I think the topic is different enough and I wanted to start a fresh thread. (Note: I think a better title might have been "genderqueer or transsexual?") Again, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for, maybe general advice from those who have been there, done that. Maybe two weeks ago, I was struggling with the fact that I was genderqueer after maybe 5-6 years of denial. Then it hit me...I'm not fluid or androgynous, I'm a GUY in a little lady's body. I'm only genderfluid in the sense that sometimes I want to align with my internal self, and other times I want to embrace my external self. And all this week, I've been freaking out over this idea, because I've never been anything other than a cute girl to the world. I grew up believing I was the same thing inside, and just a little "off". Imagine that one day you're walking along, thinking about life, and suddenly God/dess (or some equally improbable figure) appears to you RIGHT IN YOUR FACE and tells you exactly what your life purpose is. Suddenly everything makes sense, every moment in your life led up to this one, yet you never saw it coming. Would you feel terror at the sight of deity? Would you be moved, in awe? Relieved, but shocked? Now that this has happened, you'll never be able to go back to the life you used to know, and nobody warned you that this would happen, nobody gave you a chance to brace for the impact. That's exactly how I've felt all week. It sucks.
