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Please tell me if this is going to be a disaster...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Csp1993, Aug 5, 2014.

  1. Csp1993

    Csp1993 Guest

    I'm going to Pride this month and my parents have agreed to go. I am not out to them at all. I don't plan on coming out anytime soon. However, I do plan on buying stuff to show my pride as a bisexual. I know this sounds really risky, but I was thinking about buying the stuff and saying it is for my LGBT friends. Now that I have written this out I see how incredibly dumb this may be, but I need to start coming out somehow I guess.

    How am I going to conceal this at Pride from my parents? How am I going to get away with getting Pride stuff? I guess I should really be asking how crazy am I?:eusa_doh:
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    If your parents are accompanying you to Pride, would it be reasonable to assume that they are generally supportive of LGBT people/rights? I'm trying to imagine a scenario where opponents would agree to attend Pride themselves, or accede to their child's request or desire to attend and I'm really struggling with it. So, can I ask why you are concerned about coming out to them?

    Of course, it's entirely your choice if/when to come out to anyone, but I'd love to know if there is a reason for your reluctance to tell your parents.

    It follows that I am also struggling to imagine how you could buy Pride related stuff without (at the very least) arousing suspicion.
     
  3. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    If your parents are accompanying you to Pride... they probably already suspect. :slight_smile:
     
  4. PICollins91

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    If you are going to Pride with your parents, there's a 99.9% chance they at the very least suspect you are gay. Don't worry about it I say, the odds are in your favor unless something else about it is bothering you or they are doing it reluctantly.
     
  5. redneck

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    Okay, being me, I have to ask. How did you approach the subject of wanting to go to a pride event to your parents? The reason I ask is because I really don't see how you could have approached this without giving them some hint that you are not straight. It seems you have parents who are accepting of the lgbt community because they agreed to go.

    Like Linco said you don't have to come out to them until your ready (if ever) but this sounds like you have, at least to some degree, opened the closet door a bit.
     
  6. HTBO

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    I agree with everyone else. I'm curious, what reason did you give your parents for wanting to go to pride. If one of my children asked to go to pride, I would find it a strange request unless they wanted to go for themselves, and that would make me suspicious of their orientation at the least.
     
  7. Monraffe

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    You might be able to thread the needle on this one and avoid either coming out or deceiving. Get the stuff you want and don't give a reason why. If they ask you just say, "I'm being supportive." If they press the issue and say something like, "Honey, you're not gay are you?" Just reiterate, "I told you, I'm being supportive."
     
  8. Argentwing

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    Sorry to say, it is a little ridiculous to take your parents to pride, buy stuff that shows your orientation, and then try to cover it up. No matter how good a job you do, I'm pretty sure they will read between the lines.

    That said, I would probably just buy the stuff and be like "yeah I like girls too" very casually. There's no way they won't be okay with it.
     
  9. Csp1993

    Csp1993 Guest

    There are a lot of festivals and parades in our town, so I said I wanted to try a new one and this opportunity arose perfectly. They both seemed interested too. They are both supportive of the LGBT community, very much so.

    To be honest, I'm not sure why I haven't come out already. I guess it's just that I don't actually know how they'll react. I think they would be positive, but you never know. However, I managed to bring the topic up without suspicion and my mom and I discussed what we wanted to wear. She said she wish she had a shirt that was similar to the "Proud mom of a gay kid" shirt. She then said ,"but I don't have a gay kid." I really considered coming out then.

    I think both my mom and stepfather may have a clue because I really liked this girl not too long ago. My parents and I are very close, so I knew they would find out eventually. They just knew there was someone I was interested in. My stepfather asked if it was a girl and I snapped back with, "No! I'm straight!" Never has that word seemed so foreign. I remember an earlier time way back when I was in elementary school: my mom was outside watering her garden. I had just woken up and went to see what she was doing and she said "It's ok if you're a lesbian." I was so angry that she assumed I wash gay, but now I'm thankful she said it.
     
  10. HTBO

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    I think you can probably come out anytime to them, sounds they like suspect and will be completely supportive. Going to pride will bring many opportunities for you. It's really difficult to do, but you will feel so much better after.