Right well I'm a 20 year old guy who lives in rural highland Scotland. I came out to my parents and some close friends back in February and have slowly accepted myself as a gay man since. I've never kissed a guy, held a guys hand, been on a date, anything! Without sounding sounding like an arrogant jerk, I know I'm not a bad looking guy so if I wanted to I think I could get a boyfriend. However, I only know like 2 gay guys in the area and not very well. I don't really live near a big city where I could meet a guy at a gay bar. My identical twin brother is gay also but he moved away to a big city for uni. He says there's lots of guys he feels he could get with down there. I feel a bit weird leaving the town I grew up in purely to get in a relationship but I feel if I want to be happy I have no other option. Is this a bit of a rash decision? I mean is it normal for gay people to move to find love? *urgghh cringe* The town I live in isn't particularly homophobic. I mean obviously you would get some abuse for being gay but not too many people have a serious issue with it
From what I've seen, a lot of rural/small-town gay people move to cities for various reasons. If it enhances your life, I can't see a problem with it. I might suggest just having a couple of test runs though. Maybe go down and visit your brother, go out on the town and see if it's as awesome as you imagine it is. Or go and stay in a hotel in which ever city you think you want to live in, maybe one near the gay district. If it feels right after that, if there's nothing keeping you in the highlands, then what have you got to lose?
The other gay twin who hasn't has an experience.. thats me ! :lol: Well I don't think its wrong to pursue happiness.. Its worth a try and you will gain some experience.
the thing with leaving home is, usually, home will always be a place that you can come back to if you need. so you have a fall back place if you need it.
I just know of them. They're openly gay. In a small town you sort of know everyones business haha ---------- Post added 6th Aug 2014 at 06:39 PM ---------- Haha yeah it sucks a little. It will happen eventually! Just out of interest how old are you and your bro? Just cause Im feeling pretty low about being a completely unexperienced 20 year old haha.
I wouldn't describe moving to seek a relationship as rash. Happiness is very important in life and if moving brings happiness and not moving doesn't - there's only one option right? I live in a village near to a small town. I have to commute to this town for work every day. Both areas aren't homophobic, but neither are they very gay-friendly - that's because I feel it just doesn't really have a gay scene at all. I don't know anyone at all who is gay. Moreover, I don't know any gay family either. I am certain that I will have to find love by either online means or by relocating. Uni has been suggested more than once as I haven't been yet. Therefore, I am in exactly the same situation as you with the bolded section in your quote. I'm also around your age too, so you're not alone & it sucks I know!
I think Mangotree's response earlier in the thread was pretty sound. I don't know if you have looked online, but sometimes it can throw up surprises. Where I live in the UK isn't exactly a LGBT hot spot, but when I was looking, I found more people than I expected nearby. I haven't had to relocate many miles from my hometown.
Yeah sounds pretty much identical to the situation Im in. I also have homophobic grandparents so Im worried theyll find out too if I stay here :L Uni can help but I think only if its in a big city. I study at my nearest uni but I wouldnt say theres an LGBT scene there. Its reassuring to know someone else feels the same as me I hope things work out for you soon I guess there must be loads of people accross the Uk in our position. Not every gay person lives in London, Glasgow, Manchester etc I guess haha ---------- Post added 6th Aug 2014 at 08:47 PM ---------- I might give online stuff a shot. I am aware of ****** but I always kind of assumed it was only for people who were 'up for fun' so to speak. Thats probably a bit naive and judgemental of me. The nearest city for me is Aberdeen where I know there is one gay pub but Ive heard its pretty dodgy. My brother stays in Glasgow which has a gay club in it. Is it a rural area you stay in?
Well, ****** does have a bit of a reputation for that, but it's up to you to set out your stall with any online site (with the exception of EC really). Anyway, there are websites besides ****** with a more friendly feel, where you can potentially meet someone for dating, rather than 'fun'. That's how it worked for me and yeah, I live in a predominantly rural county (see my profile).
