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Stereotypes bringing me down

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by SeaSalt, Aug 7, 2014.

  1. SeaSalt

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    I fairly recently came out to my parents who were Kind of supportive even if I suspect they think Bisexuality is just a phase i'm going through. I have recently started toying with the idea of pursuing a Bf as well as a Gf however my body is preventing me from exploring my sexuality. I have been incredibly self conscious about my size after I was bullied in my first few years of secondary school. (the bullying stopped after I grew to about 6.3) I have always been Big, Not just tall but broad and chunky with Moobs I inherited from my dads side of the family:bang:. anyway the point I am trying to make is that its very hard for me to act on my natural submissiveness and pursue a relationship with another bloke when my mind is full of the weedy, slim, hot little twink stereotype I associate with bottoms. A stereotype that I am literally the complete opposite of. I'm talking Cat G Hodor here.

    Also sorry I wasn't sure which forum this belonged in.

    ---------- Post added 7th Aug 2014 at 02:15 PM ----------

    Just to clarify that when i said "Bf as well as a Gf" I don't mean at the same time. I meant a single partnered monogamous relation ship with Either!
     
  2. thecarpenter

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    I mean the 'stereotype' you talk about is just that. A small % of gay men fit into the 'twink' stereotype, and if it helps the ones I know that do fit into it are so wrapped up in their identity of being a twink that they define themselves completely by their body and have very poor relationships. You don't have to fit the mould. Also, I know quite a few gay people and the whole idea of the submissive guy being slim/weedy is just not true. The community is filled up with a wide variety of people who like completely different things. I actually find people who don't fit into a stereotype far more interesting.
     
  3. black-cat

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    I second everything the gentleman above said. It's just a stereotype, and most people in the LGBTQ community know that stereotypes can be very debilitating and are normally wrong. If a potential partner is going to judge you and 'cross you off' simply because you don't fit the stereotype, then they aren't really worth your time, energy and love.
     
  4. Chip

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    For what it's worth, there's a segment of the gay community that *loves* bigger men (typically referred to as "bears", though that can actually have a different meaning as well), and finds zero attraction to "fit" guys. Among that community, you'll find yourself welcomed and loved for who you are.

    While there is a lot of shallowness in the gay community, there are also many people who see people and love people for who they are. One step you can take is to start working on loving and believing in yourself exactly as you are. That may be a tall order at first, but it's definitely possible, and the more you do so, the more you'll be happy... and that, in turn, will help you attract healthy and happy people around you.
     
  5. Candace

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    I think that there is still someone out there who will love you for you. I personally like guys a little bit taller than me (even if I am 6'0 myself). Trust me, there are people who are bound to love you for you and want to spend time with you, regardless of how you may look on the outside :slight_smile:.