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Sudden Anxiety

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Vampire, Aug 8, 2014.

  1. Vampire

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    Hello everyone. First of all, I'd like to thank you for your time. It means a lot.

    Over the past couple of days, more events rolled out in my life than ever before. Events to which I associated bad outcomes, that is. I would like to go back about four months...

    *poof*

    It all started with me and my best friend growing apart, which ultimately led to her insulting me behind my back. I could compare that to being hit by a bus, emotionally speaking, of course. That made me stop trusting people (even family) and becoming and introvert. I know, this doesn't sound like much in a teenager boy, but I always was an open person and I loved talking about anything and everything. I loved going out with friends and wasting time.

    Now, fast-forward to last Saturday... *clock ticks*

    A homosexual boy, who's my age and lives rather close to me contacted me, saying he "needed someone to talk to, someone who could fully understand him." I and this guy have a common friend who talked to him about me and my "healing" properties.

    After extensive talking, I realized that in front of my very eyes, my ideal for a character was taking shape. All the traits I look for in someone, all the hobbies, the humorous behavior, everything.

    I started falling in love with someone I knew for only a few days...

    By this time my anxiety was taking shape, but it was very minor and I could control it myself.

    Now, for the last time warp, we're visiting yesterday.

    I decided to come out to a friend who calls(ed) himself my brother. We knew each other since forever, since our moms were classmates in middle-school. I almost came out to him last summer, but I had doubts about his reaction. Yesterday, he confirmed my doubts. I don't want to accuse him of something he might or might not do, but my intuition tells me that in a few days his whole family will know about me, even though I explicitly told him to keep it a secret. I don't like gossip.

    Yesterday, before me coming out, I could barely eat because of my anxiety. Today, I woke up feeling sick and I could barely drink a glass of water. I feel nervous and anxious.

    Now, before you recommend me to the best psychologist in town, please keep in mind that my mom does not know about my anxiety and I would like to keep it that way.

    If you can tell me what you or someone you know did to fight anxiety, I'd be forever grateful. If all I can do is go to the psychologist, I'll do it. But, as I said, I'm trying to avoid it.

    I'm sorry for the wall of text, but you need all the details to fully understand my anxiety. Again, thank you for your time reading this post and any help, even if it's just a supportive message, will be appreciated.

    Lots of love,
    Andy
     
  2. bingostring

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    What do you think is making you fearful exactly.

    You could try writing it down … and adding rational reasons why there is no need to be fearful .. it may help.

    Otherwise distract your mind from it by doing something different. Go for a run, bike ride or see a film.

    Anxiety is horrible and I hope you find a solution.
     
  3. Vampire

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    Thank you for your reply. To be honest, I don't know what exactly makes me fearful. I know being rejected by the guy I fell for makes me really fearful, but other than that... I guess people not trusting me anymore? I don't know. I know, it's not rational thinking and I'm trying to predict the future, something that is impossible, but I can't help it.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    Okay, first things first - time out and deep breaths. If you are feeling anxious try to go for a nice walk or take some enjoyable exercise that may help. Find somewhere quiet to sit and take some deep breaths. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing, rather than the jumbled thoughts that are going through your mind. It might not sound much, but it can help.

    The last four months have been quite hard for you, haven't they? You've met a guy who you really like/love and it's set your emotions in a bit of a spin. Who do you tell? Well, you would have told your former friend, but since you grew apart and she gossiped behind your back it's created some trust issues. Clearly, you needed to tell someone about your feelings, so you mentioned it to your guy friend and now you think he will also gossip behind your back to his family and open up the trust issues even more.

    So, thinking about the consequences of him gossiping - what might they be Andy? I notice from your profile that you are already out to your Mom and a lot of your friends, so are there other important people who may find out, who you'd rather not? Is this a worry?

    It's not nice to be the subject of gossip, but the reason many people really dislike gossip is because of the consequences. If the consequences may be significant it can bring on fear and anxiety, like you have now. But if you can pre-empt and take action to deal with the likely consequences, the anxiety and fear may subside greatly. Is that an option?

    I'm pleased you have brought these worries to the forum, as talking is another good way to deal with anxiety. To hear kind, warm and supportive voices is important. It demonstates that people care and you are not alone.

    If you feeling super anxious, you could try Chamomile Tea (if it's available). Many people use it as a herbal remedy, with no side effects.

    If things get really bad, it may be worth seeking medical help.

    Hugs (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2014 at 12:33 PM ----------

    Don't you think that should be the other way around Andy? It's your trust that has been/might be broken. One friend definitely gossiped and the other looks as though he might - that's more than enough reason to feel unhappy.

    The trust problem is with them - not you, my friend.
     
  5. Vampire

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    I guess you do have a point, regarding the gossip problem. The only person left to find out is my father, but quite frankly, I don't really care about his opinion (but this is a completely different topic requiring a completely different line of thoughts).

    I'll try the Chamomile tea remedy. It's my favorite tea, actually, but I never knew it's a cure for anxiety.

    Me posting my problems on this forum is a huge effort, not because I don't trust the community, but because I'm not used to telling people about my problems. I'm that type of person who knows every little tiny problem the people around him has, but the personal problems remain personal.

    I'll start riding my bike every morning, look at flowers and empty my mind. I'll see if that helps.

    Thank you for the help. And as always, I'm forever in debt, Pat. Thank you. (*hug*)