So Lately a lot more then usual, my Family have been using being Gay as a Joke and something that defines a person as a whole. I get so frustrated that sometimes I have to walk out of the room. There are times when one person will respond with something positive but most of the time it's a huge joke to them. I'm not out to any of them so they don't know they are insulting me and I know if they asked I was gay and I told them, they would be completely fine with it (I Hope). It's just a little hard when you're thinking of just blurting out that your gay one second and then being thrown back by a stereotypical insulting remark the next. What I want to know is how do you or would you deal with something like this? I Generally just take it and try to forget it because I think it's all I can do.
If they stopped to think.. They would not use those words. But you are biting your tongue in the meantime. Maybe that's what you have to do till you are out to them ? In the meantime give them a bit more slack ... Or you'll go seriously nuts!
I've already told my dad I am bi and yet he often makes comments like a guy looking "faggy". I know he isn't really bigoted but it is beginning to piss me off and I am going to have to cut him down if it keeps going. Really don't like it, and I need to let him know how much it upsets me. So I feel you. Thanks for your post.
Don't take the comments too personally. Your parents probably don't mean it. Just try your best not to internalise it. You know deep down that being gay doesn't define you and doesn't make you any less worthy. Your family will probably act a lot different if you come out to them.and immediatley regret everything they said. My Dad used to make fun of gay people on TV which made me super stressed when I wanted to come out to him. In the end I got my Mum to tell him and he instantly felt guilty about the silly things he'd said. He's actually turned out to be so accepting and supportive. To tell the truth because of him I've actually came to accept myself more. So in short. Don't sweat it! They probably don't mean the stuff they say, and there's a good chance you might be pleasently surprised by their reaction if you came out Good luck out there!
Your family is ignorant on the subject so like TwinNumber2 says, don't take it personally. I've seem people go from making gay jokes to marching in gay pride once they fully accept their child is gay.
As people have said the only likely way to fix it is to come out--in my instance it fixed it pretty much immediately. In fact my father came to me several days later seriously broken up about something he had said several days before I came out. In the mean time cut them some slack and try to remember--the reason they don't know how hurtful their comments are to you is because you haven't told them.
