Before I hear all the reason why I shouldn't I would like to remind all of you how hard and abusive highschool can be sorry for that rude comment but... Yea so let's start. I am in a rural area and being out isn't really on the agenda right now I have too much going on academically. I really just want to be "normal" (only gay guy I know of in my highschool). The cloths I think are straight my friends calls gay and the cloths I think are gay my friends call straight. Maybe I am trying to hard but I am confused as hell what "straight" is anymore. So I came here looking for what areas of being gay are most noticeable in highschool and how to "hide" them. I am often called gay jokingly by my friends and been the target of a couple Anti-gay slurs at school before but nothing serous. I am not flamboyant and I have had multiple girlfriends. So me kicking off the assholes gay-dar at schools must mean I am failing at something. In my search of this I am asking you guys what were the best/easiest way to hide you were gay without completely lying. In all reality I want to be away from all the stereo typical "queer" attributes but I don't know what they are. I know that sounds horrible and rude and all things vile but most of these kids in my school will never see anything outside their stupid meth head trailer parks. I am defiantly not in denial and I have 5 (guessing 6) gay first cousins so that's not a big deal in my family. All I want is to go through hill billy hell highschool without being harassed much. Like I said I am very academically involved in my school so that doesn't help much.
Here's the thing. You're not flamboyant, and you have girlfriends (or "beards", I guess), but they're still focusing in on you for being gay. Given that, I'd say your issue isn't "I'm acting gay" so much as "they've found a perceived weakness and they're exploiting it". Because that's precisely what bullies do. I don't know exactly what happened, but my guess is that somebody called you a "faggot" or something - and that got a reaction from you. You freaked out, and they realized they had an opening. So they continued to exploit it. If that's accurate, your best move isn't to "butch it up". Because honestly, they're not going to observe your sudden turn towards (hyper-)masculinity as evidence that they were wrong about you. They're not going to think "Huh, WL seems quite heterosexual now. I guess I was mistaken about him - let's lay off him from here on out." Because that's not how bullies operate. They operate trying to get a reaction. They probably (deep down) don't even give a rat's ass about your sexuality other than it being something they can give you grief about. Given that, I don't think the wise move is to try to "straighten up". The wise move is to work towards not reacting to them. And no, that's not easy. But it's probably the best move. That way, if they give you grief about something else - your looks, your academics, whatever - you're well-prepared to deal with that, as well. Lex
I'll add that my experience is that the people who desperately try to look more straight generally make themselves even more obvious (think Nathan Lane's character in The Birdcage). And, often, the people who are the most vehement bullies are, themselves, closet faggots I'd honestly just be yourself.
I don't really make any efforts because my tastes didn't change when I figured out that I was gay. I'm just neutral during social situations, and because of that, people might assume that I'm asexual way more than gay. I have a set of excuses as to why I don't have a girlfriend (want to have good qualifications and financial security beforhand!...ect.) and these never seem to be questioned. Overall I'm not the kind fo person people like talking to a lot because I'm not opening up to anyone in the slightest.
I have to concur with Lex and Chip. I would only add that they might be less of a problem if you do something that people admire in that community. Sports usually end up helping in that regard. But that is one of those places where people would be cool with you or end up being giant douche nozzles and making your suffering worse. I've found the old adage of "if you can't beat them join them" to sometimes be true, especially in HS.. If its the clothing that seemingly gives you away (though like Lex said, it probably isn't), maybe get one of the girls to help butch it up a bit... Try not to be too "pretty" After all, it is hard turning down the fab-u-lous-ness. Good luck and be brave, you'll be out of there soon enough and can move on to bigger and better things.
Yea screw it highschool is a tiny portion of my life. I guess in some regards I am lucky though. I lead three lives really because I go to two different schools. One of them I stay in the libary and avoid people because I am getting made fun of. Then the other has an insanely accepting and open minded atmosphere like some colleges. I guess from your guys advice I am going to just. Going to work on my emotions when people are around me. Now that I am ready your guy's comments I think this is leaning back towards my ability to become pissy. That combined with the fact that I am knows as the "fun" killer. I am not a snitch but I will stand up for someone else when someone is fucking with them. (Excuse my language). I have a normaly out going happy personality but I have been becoming anti-social when people are near me at my home school. It's like they resent me. I think it's just because I am more mature than them and wayyy smarter than them. I guess I will work on "fitting" in by just being more confident and less motivated my lgbt comments. More of a screw it attitude instead of a screw off one.
