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Please Don't Murder Me

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Umbra, Aug 12, 2014.

  1. Umbra

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    ^Title for the members here

    Kind of Needed to rant myself, some thoughts.

    I am pretty gender fluid. I view myself as male and female, I will repeat this, but it has a point in why I am saying it in this thread too. I have always believed that a man can be a feminist as well. A man who will stand up for the equal rights of woman. Though my feminine side is definitely a feminist.

    I am not a feminazi or a man hater. I hate this perception the media puts on the world. I think there are issues woman and men alike should get upset over.

    When young girls are being treated as gatekeepers to a young man's sexuality, I find that disgusting. Photoshopping girls clothing because oh no shoulders or telling them they can't wear prom dresses with spaghetti straps because oh no all the boys are going to hump her. Young men and woman, everybody is in control, responsible for their own sexual desires. And no one can make someone act on them because of clothing.

    We only adopt this stereotype because we don't teach people that they are in control of their sexuality. No one made you harass that person, no one made you cat call. It's not because what they are wearing makes them "Ask for it".


    When a woman must objectify herself in order to be guaranteed a job. I actually have a little thread on this. I find this disgusting makes me mad. I look in the mirror see my business slacks, my business shirt. I dress professional. I look good, I love the way I look. We have gotten past the point in history where woman were only allowed to wear dresses. Yet, it's still expected, makeup, floral designs.

    Disclaimer: I know for men it's harder to go into the work force dressed like a woman. I'll get on that in just a moment.

    When woman are put on adds, with just their butts, breast, legs, etc. To sell some kind of product. Objectify and never treat someone as a whole.

    When the argument of abortion is being debated by people who are not even woman. Birth control being debated by people who are not even woman. Plan A and Plan B are both helpful. And a Woman has the Right to Abort what's inside her body.

    A lot of people believe Plan B is always "oh I had an unprotected sex and I am pregnant now", but there are other factors and reasons. And it's sad to only think one way, as them wanting to "murder" a "living" being inside of them because they were being careless. Both condoms and Plan A birth control are not 100%.

    Now I am aware woman can get away with dressing like a man more so than a man can. As I have said my ideal world is where people are treated as people before they are treated as a gender and people dress whatever the fuck they want.

    And at the same time. To say "instead of being a feminist, be a humanist" disregards those trying to gain equality. Whether it be LGBT issue or a female issue. We should create Meninist movement, and as I believe a man should be a feminist, a woman should be a Meninist.

    We should all strive for equality. We should all treat people as people. But until then. My feminine side, the only one I got, will fight to be treated not as a lesser being. It's even harder considering my position on gender fluidity.
     
  2. Jenna0780

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    A lot of people have a negative perception of feminism. Feminism is a really, really broad term, but it does tend to have negative connotations. While I may agree with you on a lot of things in here, there are things that I don't agree with you on. But feminism isn't really about any of that, specifically, though it may offer insight as to why someone may think that way.

    There are feminists who are anti-porn, and there are feminists who are all for it. Same thing with abortion. There are feminists who are offended by women using their bodies to get ahead or to get a job, or to get what they want, and there are feminists that say, "Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it, hon!" Both are feminists, and both have excellent arguments for it. All feminism is, is promoting social, political, and economic equality for men and women. Feminist can say that a lot of things about the way men are treated isn't fair, and it's true! And they'll fight that, too! But people don't associate that with feminism, because it doesn't have anything to do with women. Which... is wrong.

    I guess what I'm trying to say, is that feminism isn't anti-porn, or pro-porn, nor anti-abortion, or pro-abortion. It's certainly not pro-women, or anti-men. It's only about the inequality between -both- genders. To me, one of the most frustrating things about being a feminist, is that even some feminists don't know what feminism is about...
     
  3. Umbra

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    The point I am trying to make is not about anit-porn or pro-abortion. It's about these core values any person and they are my core values:

    -I as a man or woman, should be able to express myself as I see fit and not have society reprimand me for doing so

    -Man or woman, are in control of what is and isn't done with their body and no one has the right to dictate that.

    -Man or woman, is in control of their own minds. Not one gender is a gatekeeper of sexual desire. And not one gender should be treated as if they are. Men and woman are responsible with what they do. And must be sexually responsible. No one else, but you makes you sexually responsible

    I want a world some day where gender is not how we value the world. But until then these are the core values I stand by.
     
  4. Jenna0780

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    While I understand, respect, and agree with many of your views and values, the way that I read it seemed to me that you were representing said values as a feminist, as if to say, "I'm a feminist, and here's why." And while I may agree on plenty of them, it is not because I'm a feminist, it's just my views of the issues.

    I meant only to provide, and also seek, some clarity, not spark a debate. I'm sorry if I seemed reprimanding, confrontational, or agitated - it wasn't my intention, though I can see how it may have been taken as such. My apologies.
     
  5. Umbra

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    Actually the thread was more like.

    My female side is a feminist. These are the issues that gravely bother me and what I'd like to see them fixed. It had nothing to do with a why. I just wanted to not feel crazy when I talk about these issues with people.

    My male side ask for equality for both genders. He tends to be more gender neutral.

    That sounds crazy. It's not like I have multiple personalities or anything of the sort. I just kind of adopted mix gender days. I am often mostly male. But sometimes my female side kind of comes out.
     
  6. Jenna0780

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    I see. Again, I feel I should apologize for this enormous misunderstanding. My mind is hardwired for "why"s, so I likely assumed. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I'm sorry!

    Oh, not at all! I've found it entirely possible to identify with and be both male and female, just as much as to identify with and be neither male nor female. While I don't reciprocate feeling that way, and though I may not completely understand, I certainly don't think you crazy for it. LOL!

    Oh!! And I do believe a "welcome" is in order as well. Welcome!
     
    #6 Jenna0780, Aug 12, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2014
  7. Umbra

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    Thank you. Yeah this was more of an "these issues bother me"

    Because even though I view myself as male and female. I am gender fluid and can change between both genders. I view myself as more masculine than feminine. I often wear "male" clothing. And you wouldn't believe how disrespected I feel sometimes. How alienated. It's cost me jobs and the things people say

    "dress like a girl, etc"

    That's where that comment came from. Actually this is these issues make me mad. I just said she was a feminist because it's what she identifies with.

    Why she is a feminist is because she believes there should be equal rights for everybody. But these particular issues bother her because this is what she has experienced when it comes to the inequality issues at hand.