Does This Make Me An Huge Jerk?

I would be quite put off by that. Since it's still a rejection, whatever. But to reject someone by deception like that is pretty disrespectful.

You're allowed to be nice in telling people no. Just apologize and say you're not interested or, if applicable, not ready; they'll understand.

 

Either way, you are letting people down. But by giving them a wrong number you are hiding so that you don't have to witness their reaction. By rejecting them personally, you are respecting them as people and not giving false hope.

 

This might take some practice but it is possible to better get in touch with ones feelings... and where applicable saying no... let me think about that... sorry lets wait a while with that... etc...

If that situation happens often you might think about an answer you feel comfortable with...

There are even tutorials on saying no...

(*hug*)

 

I have trouble with being permissive as well. It is no good to avoid the need to be able to say no. You are a free person and that means feeling comfortable disappointing other peoples expectations and desires.

 

Yes, this is extremely unethical.

 

Well, it's really mean, right? Because they call the fake number you gave them, and when they realize that number either doesn't exist or isn't close to being the person they were promised, they might tend to feel extra hurt. Not just "I got rejected" hurt, but "I got so rejected that this person chose to toy with me."

 

If you're genuinely afraid for your safety because you think the person is unhinged, I'd forgive you for doing it then. But not everyone who's interested in you is a creeper.

 

You don't need to explain anything. You only need to say you're not interested or if you really want an excuse say you just came out of a relationship and are not looking for anything else at the moment. The person doesn't need details about you.

 

Consider that somebody else might get a call from said person.

 

Well, here's what I think. One, you're totally valid not to want to date straight women or men. You're a lesbian, so ya, you shouldn't have to deal with people who are like, chasers... Two, you shouldn't have to out yourself if you don't want to. You don't need to give a reason for saying "no." Just say "hey, thanks but no thanks" or something really neutral like that. You don't need to say "it's not going to work out because I'm a woman."

 

It doesn't make you a jerk but you could be missing out