How can I accept myself?

You have admitted it to yourself. That is the first step. Now you must accept it for what it is. Changing it will not happen no matter how much you dislike it. I think of it this way... People have expectations and norms. Only the brave people break them. It may seem like you are alone, but once you defy the standards and are standing in a different point of view, you will find that there are other people who are just like you.

You are fine. Trust me; there is nothing wrong with you. It is not in your control, and it's perfectly natural (*hug*)

 

From what you have said, I would suggest that you are in fact, gay. But ultimately, it is only you who can answer that question. You're the same age as me, and I have only recently fully realised, and come to term with the fact that that I am in fact, gay. But there are many people who will take much longer than us to realise their sexuality, and that's okay too. If you never want to put yourself into such a strict category as 'gay' or 'straight', then don't! However I do feel that categorising yourself doesn't necessary restrict yourself, instead it gives you the freedom to be yourself, rather than torturing yourself over whether you are one or another. However when you categorise yourself, it's still okay to change your mind. It's good that you are starting to be able to say, with confidence 'I am gay.' I found this to be the first step to accepting myself, which brings me onto your other question:

Because you are great. Tell yourself that. LGBTQ people are amazing. We are good-looking, witty, intelligent wonderful people, and you are no exception. Also keep saying to yourself 'I am gay.', it helps you to become normalised with the idea of being gay, and takes you another step towards accepting yourself. And most of all, if you feel any homosexual attraction, don't shun it, embrace it! Next time you see a good looking guy, that you feel attracted to, don't turn away, or kick yourself for it, instead admire the view!

This is the best place to come for reassurance. I only joined recently, but I have found solace here, and hopefully you will too. Never feel depressed for being yourself, because it is nothing to be ashamed of. Being yourself is an act of courage, remember that. If you ever need to talk, I will be here for you, as will every other member of this site. -Hug-

 

hey Daniel, As you are young it may be you haven't quite settled on what your full orientation is ? You have probably had a lot of negative vibes spun about gay people and that is why you are feeling uncomfortable? Or 'shame' and 'disappointment' ?

It would be good to do some reading on this, chat more on EC, and in time maybe open up to other LGBT people in your circles. There is no rush to define yourself immediately but just make it a "work in progress"!

 

Yes, you are. I'm so glad you are feeling better about your sexuality. Soon you will realise it isn't all that much of a big deal.

I'm not camp either. In reality, the majority of LGBTQ people don't live up to the stereotype, the stereotype of a typical flamboyant gay man is the stereotype, because the flamboyant gay men are generally much more open about their sexuality, which is why it is often assumed that any guy that is camp is gay, and any guy who isn't is straight. But that's because stereotypes are born out of close-mindedness.

It's perfectly normal to not conform to the stereotype. Very few people do!

You just did! And once you say it for the first time, it just gets easier. That's because it's true!

 

That's definitely why I'm here

 

It's perfectly okay, the situation that you're going through right now. I was about your age when I slowly started to accept myself and tell myself "hey, I'm gay". Look at what you're not though. You're not a teen dad. You're not in jail, a rapist, a drug dealer, or a convicted felon. You haven't done any of those things. Being gay is just as bad as being a redhead or having green eyes. It makes you, you.

Like you stated, it IS okay to be gay .

 

just give your self time and a bit of slack.your still young .even when you logically realise that lgbts arnt really that different it can take time not to feel shame.

what you are experiencing is very normal for lgbt and you do get past it its the stages of loss.in fact i kinda feel like im a better person now im past it than i would have been if i didnt.i dont know if that is true or normal reaction?

what helped me overcome any shame was when i became exposed to great lgbt people either in real life or people like alan turing, peter thiel etc.and the many great people on ec .just as we learnt to feel shame we can learn to be proud.there is nothing intrinsic about shame it comes from our enviroment.

give these links a read 3 Ways to Accept That You Are Gay - wikiHow Kübler-Ross model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

I have the same problem! The only LGBT youth group near me meets once a month, on a Monday night 6-9pm, and seeing as I'm not out, and I have like... no friends xD, I can't think of an excuse to tell my mum as to why I'm going... And I don't know how to get there, because I couldn't walk, it'd be like an hour and a half to walk... so Oh well. You'll find it easier because you actually have friends! Ha ha ha You can make up a realistic sounding excuse xD

 

Fuck my life, I just typed this all out and it friggin vanished. Here I go again.

Firstly, well done on joining the site and for starting this process, it is bloody hard. Baby steps.

You do sound gay, yes. I feel the same but with /slight/ attractions towards guys, but I think that might be peer pressure and wishful thinking. I am sorry about the invasive thoughts you get, I had them for a while too. They eat you up. Be careful, I truly understand the pinching thing, but be careful.

I think that you have to accept that you are as much worthy of love and acceptance form yourself as anyone else-your sexulity doesn't mean that you aren't worthy of love, acceptance, or life. It sucks that there isn't more support at your school or in your area. I would recommend you keep active on sites like this and build an online support network until you feel strong enough to go to things like the meeting that is held in the evenings in the "real world".

Feel free to message me if you ever feel like you need to vent or just want a friend.

 

Acceptance is hard, but just know being gay is ok. Love is love. Tell yourself whenever you feel the need too. Gay is okay. You're still young, in time you will come to terms with it.

Nice to meet you x

 

keep on telling yourself you are gay.

It will help you come to terms.

I said it out loud a thousand times, and it eventually just became a fact more than a death sentence.