I'm asking because "confidence" is something I've struggled with and something some people seem to find easy, or at least they appear to find it easy. So... what is it? Does to make you attracted to someone? Do you wonder how some people just don't care what others thing? Does confidence come before looks or is it all part of it? Also I consider myself averaging looking at best but I just wonder if I was more confident, which I can be then this is what will attract people and not just guys but friends in general and well... help me in my whole life.
I think that while I'm always indecisive and always doubt my decisions, I'm occasionally seen as confident when I spontaneously make a decision and stick with that no matter what.
I know when I'm confident. When I don't care about what others think of me, when I feel secure with myself, when I'm at my best, when I'm not nervous and shy. I've noticed that the more confident you're, the more people notice and actually are attracted to you. I noticed that the reason I attracted so many girls for so long was my confidence, I showed I was the boss of the room and they took notice. I've gone twice to a gay club. The day I went with a shirt I thought made me look ugly I lacked confidence and it showed, because I wasn't enjoying myself as much and people noticed. No one spoke to me. The two other times that I've felt confidence... well I've gotten hit on a lot. I have a friend of mine that people notice quickly how insecure he is. He's shy, doesn't talk a lot, looks like he's in a shell and that's why girls don't like him, because he appears weak.
I can confidently say I have been becoming more confident as time passes. No pun intended. Confidence, to me, is when I can express my feelings freely, with nothing holding me back. I used to be afraid of people ridiculing or harshly correcting me, but now I can say, "Thank you for telling me." Now, about looks, that's not for me to decide. I don't care about how others or how I look. I began to be confident before I tried to make myself look 'nicer' - and when I was more confident, I began to love myself more, inside and out. There's nothing wrong with learning, so I learn. That's how I build confidence, by accepting that I have faults, and that I will work on them until they're all better.
I used to be unsure or wrong about what confidence is. Confidence is being able to react exactly as you 'should' without check or hesitation. So Nych has it pretty much. Some people say you feel like you own the room you walk into. That works for some but I prefer the 'I know when I try to charm/manipulate you I will succeed' type of confidence. A lot of things in life are easier when you already believe them to be so.
"I used to be unsure [...] what confidence was." ...I see what you (probably unintentionally) did there!
Confidence to me is more of an aspiration for me rather than a definition of something because this is one thing I lack. I feel like there were a lot of opportunities in my life that would have happened if I was more confident in myself or the confidence in taking chances. It's one of the things I'm trying to work out and I'll just leave this quote as to what confidence means: "Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else. It’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place." - Unknown
