assault charge

My personal opinion is that, even though your reaction was rather violent, it wasn't that bad of a reaction. I've heard much worse for smaller argues than this one.

Anyway, the reason why she broke up with you, you said it yourself: She doesn't like violence and seeing you smack that guy in the head made her feel insecure, like you could hit her.

Your best bet is to try and explain to her why you did what you did and that you would never hit her. Also, don't push it. If you reach in to hug her or something similar and she pulls away, give her the space and just talk.

I hope this helps.

Lots of love,
Andy

 

a tuff situation to be in. First its good that you stood up for her, but on the other hand not the best way to do it. But I feel that part of the lesson has been learned. That and alcohol mixed in makes it even worse. I am not suggesting that you stop drinking but to pick your party's better. Say a small gathering with friends. Now as for her I would at least let a little time pass by. Give her and your self some time to think. Just simply find a way to tell her that when she is rdy to talk you will be waiting. That will give some of that needed space that she will need.

That is what I suggest at least. I do wish you luck with your situation.

 

I know transgenders who have also been involved in assaults, and when you consider all they have to deal with (the name calling, the violence, the sexual harassment), it's no surprise that there would be a tipping point and that they'd lash out. The media paints them as these unstable, predatory freaks, when really, anyone would do the same under the right circumstances.

That said, I think some might also have a heightened sensitivity to violence, considering the constant danger of it being just around the corner. She sounds like a person who knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to voice it. But yeah, she could fear being a victim while you're intoxicated, or just not want to be involved in those sort of situations, because honestly, they do complicate matters more.

The only way I'd see her seriously giving you another chance is if you not only pledged to change your ways, but also demonstrated that you wouldn't let something like that ever happen again. Otherwise, you just have to accept that some people have their deal breakers, and if both sides aren't willing to compromise, there won't be a relationship.

 

I think you could have handled the situation much better, I proabably would have done the same thing but, where is this violence coming from bro? Is from your younger years? or what? I flip ouit easy after a few cans.

Anyways about the girl, give her time, explain to her why you did what you did, you probably have already if she fails to see that, like I said give her time. I can't really relate to this as I havent been with a transgender before but all the best!

sorry if my advice isnt the best man, lol

 

Um, delete this and hire an attorney. I really hope you didn't give a confession to the police too???????????????????????????????????

It sounds like you just plead guilty and confessed to felony assault. Plus a slew of other possible charges.... Do you know what they are charging you with at trial? Is it felony or misdemeanor. Depending on the extent of his injuries you could be facing jail time.

Who really wants to be with someone who is a felon? Felon's lose a lot of rights and are generally bad news.

The fact that this post is more about the girl and less about your pending legal troubles is greatly concerning to me personally. Maybe I just know a bit more due to working in a law firm but... Seriously. This needs to be removed as your internet records can be subpoenaed and these posts linked to you.

Also, you didn't do it for her. You did it for yourself. You did it because you couldn't handle his insults and her tears. She never asked you to break that fool. Women (regardless of birth gender) are not objects to be put upon a silver platter and respected more or less than any other human being. Personally, I'd be wary of anyone who is willing to, "beat the piss out of anyone," because of being offended. My friend or not, you can't trust loose cannons like that.

You smashed a 40oz bottle over someone's head and sent them to the hospital. That's a whole different ball game from defending someone's honor with some fisticuffs.

I'm sorry if this sounds like I am on your case, because I kind of am. I don't feel the least bit sorry for the guy who went to the hospital, but I am greatly concerned about your situation now.

 

You were provoked. That should count - in part - in your favour … but do get some legal advice.

 

Get some legal advice. It's not like you're a bad person and would hurt anyone for no good reason.

 

I think all a lawyer could do here is work out a plea bargain. But given the circumstances, I don't think the state should file on this one, because it was relentless provocation and an isolated incident with no history of violence. Doesn't mean the guy can't sue in civil court though. :/

But outside of the legal issues, communication with your gf is key. Her fear of further violence from you is a fairly outlandish leap and given her state, I bet she didn't know all of what went on. Let her know it was in her defense and she should be okay.

 

Oh thank goodness. I had a tiny heart attack and was in shock when I read that lol. Well, some fines are worth paying.

As to her, give her time. Any explanations should be you apologizing without justifying anything. Leave out the part about doing it for her. If she wanted a fight, she would have had one. Trust me when I say, when/if you speak to her again, it should be a heart felt apology for doing what you did and how it was wrong to resort to violence and put her in the position you did and a promise not to do it again. The explanation can come later.

The position I referred to is the possible internalized belief that someone went to the hospital because of her being there.

You dig? If there is one thing I am good at, it's apologizing for going to far.

 

Oh and another thing: if it proves to be the only bad mark on your record, you can eventually get it expunged. It's a fee to do that too, but they basically clean up your criminal history so it's no longer available. Might be worth checking into after some time has passed.

 

I can't speak about the legal situation, but as for your gf leaving you, I can maybe offer an new perspective..

I have a physical disability, I have no issues mentally, only physically and I can only speak for myself, but I honestly get so mortified if a male relative.. My dad, an uncle, a male cousin or even my brother in law has a go at someone for saying something about me or making fun of me in public.. Even my best friends dad had a go at someone when I was younger when I was out with my best friend and him in public.. It is honestly the worst feeling in the world to know your family member, friend or partner etc will get hurt or in trouble over something they have done in order to 'Protect you' or 'Protecting your honor'. So I know how your girl feels there and I am sorry she left you because of that, but it could be that she is either afraid of what you can do with pent up anger or that she is afraid that you will end up in jail or hurt because of you doing something in 'her honor'. I am guessing she doesn't want any trouble and her way of dealing with those people is just to ignore them and not bite back, but to then do what most women do and get emotional about it.. There are other ways you can be there for a woman other then beating up everyone who hurts her feelings and I'm sorry but the way you did it was the wrong way.

 

I am very sorry that happened. If I were your girlfriend, I wouldn't have left you. Your reaction was correct and humanistic. (*hug*)