I feel as if other gay men and I are incompatible

Welcome! So, one, I can totally understand where you are coming from. And, two, no, you're not really correct in general.

Three, I don't like body hair either.
Four, not sure I agree on the negativity thing. I mean, yes, negativity is bad, but there are some things that people should respond to forcefully. For example, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, and femme-hatred are bad.
Five, I'm a huge introvert. There are a whole lot of male-bodied people who have sex with men who are INTJ.

Final side note, I can deeply empathize with your feelings of hurt and being repulsed by people who make you feel unwanted. That's pretty much the root of all the psychological dysfunction I display here.

What I am trying to say is "don't be worried." There's a lot more compatibility out there than you think.

 

I think you should probably get to know some real gay people before you decide. As to your points:
-- In my experience, and I've been out and about in the gay community for over twenty years, gay men are probably more likely to shave or trim their body hair than straight men are. I've actually never even encountered this one as a stereotype of gay men.
-- I think the negativity is a product of encountering people online. A lot of people pour themselves into the internet when they have nothing particularly positive to contribute in real life--it's tolerated online in a way it generally isn't tolerated in real life. I actually struggle with that on this site--it has not, however, been my experience of gay people in real life who I really have found to be more open, supporting and positive than the general populous.
-- Again I think this is a product of encountering people in places other than real life. I think the gay community has about the same mix of introversion and extroversion--like in most communities the extroverts are just louder. If you are going to meet the introverts you may have to be more enmeshed in the actual community.

Anyway, I hope whatever you decide brings you happiness.

 

You said this in a post to me:I had a bleach blanket romance in Puerto Vallarta once--lasted a few days. I seem to recall he was from Canada--I remember it fondly.
How did that go? How did you meet? Did you enjoy it?
I have some of the same problems as you are having. I am not attracted to body hair either. I only like the looks of men if their smooth bodies resemble women. So where does that leave me?
I had one encounter with a man so far. It was a while ago. But I am having a strong urge to try this again if I can find the right partner. Or at least 'close enough' to the right partner.

 

I'm very smooth myself, little to no body hair and shave religiously, and I must say I would prefer if a lover was like this as well. I don't know where this leaves me, either. Thus far, the only guys who have shown sexual interest in me at the gay venue I regularly visit (to dance, basically), have been a few strong, muscly guys, but really I'm drawn to more effeminate types...and I too despair that it's going to be darn hard for me to find anyone like that, an effeminate guy who might like a rather slender, androgynous guy such as me. If I could turn straight again things would be easier for me, actually. I'm currently feeling like, well I've hardly felt any interest in women since March of this year, but might not have much hope at all of finding a guy with whom there is mutual attraction...maybe my desires will remain unfulfilled, which saddens me. :icon_sad: