So there is this LGBT centre in my local area. They meet on the last Monday of the month, between 6 and 9 pm. I really want to go, BUT. It's probably a 40 minute walk? Maybe less, I'm not sure. I'm not out to my Mum, who is the only person I live with, and I can't think of a decent excuse why I would be going out for 3 hours, especially when I never go out for anything. I don't meet friends or anything like that. So what I can use as an excuse? :help:
Do you have any hobbies? For example, I once was into astronomy and did in fact visit a group but I quickly got bored, however I did continued going out regularly just to see friends and do stuff that I probably shouldn’t have done at the time. Thinking back about it now, I actually feel terrible about lying to my parents about it… Do not lie to your mom or at least make it a “half-lie”. You are going to an LGBT group, you are going to make friends there… so just tell her that you are out with friends. It’s not the complete truth but is also not a lie. Moms can tell when their children lie, she might not confront you but she will know, trust me. If she starts asking who the friends are and how you’ve met them… The internet, you play games together or… I don’t know, does it really matter? She should be happy that you actually made friends!
My main hobby is music... But I can't really say I've joined an orchestra or anything, because she'd want to know when the performance is going to be, and stuff like that... The thing is though that I NEVER go out with friends, and so she'll know instantly that something is up, because that will be really out of character.
You are just now growing, you will do a lot of things that seem out of character. Obviously you still care deeply about your mother’s approval, and this is not a bad thing but it should not impede your personal life and the choices you make. Just go to her and tell her this: “Mom, I’ve decided to make new friends, do you mind if I go out and hang out with some people?” Imagine how worried she is about you not having friends, this will put her at ease and will allow you to do your thing. You just have to realize that going out and hanging out with other people is not a crime for which you should be punished, it’s something every normal 15 year old does. Honestly, you are simply overthinking this…
Perhaps you could say you are doing charity work? Anything from helping out at the retirement home, homeless shelter, local church, dog shelter, charity shop, youth group/community center or boy scouts kinda thing. Good luck, I hope you will be able to go without making your family too suspicious.
ok so your mum knows you never go out with friends, so if i was you i would just say you need to get out and do things you havent before, to build your confidence and that you are just going to go walking maybe to town or shopping,beach,park or cinema just whatever is in a close distance time does go fast when your walking im easy out for that long when i am walking about town.
I guess you are right... I have a few friends at school, but none round where I live... I still think she'd be suspicious though. Also 6-9 is a long time to just 'hang out' isn't it? I think that excuse could work, but not on the first time, because I would need some friends to hang out with first... Not only that, but she'd want to know where I was going, and the LGBT centre is in quite a shady area of town, and I doubt she'd let me just go and 'hang out' with the people there. It's not like there's even a park in my village that I could say I was going to... I know I'm sounding paranoid, but I really don't see how I could provide a valid-sounding excuse... Thanks for the advice! However, in the past I have clearly stated that I don't like the idea of volunteering... :S So, yeah. For the Duke of Edinburgh award you have to volunteer, and I said I didn't really want to... I guess that could be a good excuse, but three hours is still a long time... She'd worry. And plus I don't even have a mobile phone. :S - Oh and yeah, we normally have dinner at about 6:30, so how would I combat that?
Hmm so i can see that would be difficult being you dont have a mobile phone as that would keep her from worrying knowing she could contact you. Cinema idea could still work, saying you need to do something alone to build your confidence is only half lying too as that is what you are doing, and it really would do exactly that going to a LGBT center and you would meet new friends there. its the time that makes it awkward 6-9 maybe you could check out if there is any other things/clubs/events in your area that is on around this time so every week you could just say that is what you are doing.
The problem with the cinema is that the nearest cinema is too far to walk. I'll try that idea about other events. Sounds like a good idea! (Assuming there is something...) Thanks for all your help!
