Overly Controlling Parents

Oh my god, this is absolutely terrible! Please don't do anything to yourself! :icon_sad: I can't really offer any advice, but I can offer my ears (well, eyes, in this case) and a virtual shoulder to cry on. You can post on my wall if you want to talk about anything at all, sometimes just having someone to rant to can help. (*hug*)

 

All I can say is stay strong lil sis.

At least you know where you stand. I'm not even out to my parents yet. I envision the first month or two of my coming out to be like I died and frustration. I'm not sure of hatred... but parents are usually the hardest to deal with.

We are always here.

 

Wow, that's horrible. I hope your business picks up enough to leave your family eventually. There was a thread "how NOT to react when your kid comes out to you" or something like that, and it linked to a site where basically people can give you money to help you out. That kid got $80,000. I don't think anything that big is expectable, but it could help you.
And if you have to stay with your parents and they act that shittily towards you, as much as I despise to say this, it may be the best to go along with them for now, just until you're no longer dependent on them. Good luck.

 

I don't know if it is possible... but if you can, when you are out without your parents you could find a physiologist who takes /your/ side.

If your parents ever threaten you in person, call the cops immediately because that is not acceptable.

 

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One of use could set you up (You parents couldnt do anything we couldnt out outmaneuver or outsmart)

I know that we could raise you at least a few hundred dollars maybe even more.

If you are scared about leaving there isnt much I can say about this as I too am terrified when I eventually leave home. The only difference is that I have time on my hands. Sorry maybe someone else can help with that. (*hug*)

 

Hold on. You go to a psychologist? Are they in a medical office building?

Two things come to mind.
1) read the directory and see if there is some other office you could slip out to while "going to the bathroom".
2) once you're in the lobby, create a humongous loud, commotion and don't stop until the police are called and come. Start screaming "they're going to kill me" over and over. Arm flailing would be good, too.

( As a last resort you could punch someone and get arrested. Not the best but that would certainly get you away from them. )

Compose and carry a note around documenting as much as you can about how they are treating you. With their names and address which you can pass to someone like a security guard. You don't need to go into your gender status, simply list all the ways they are controlling and limitting your life. Request they call the police for you.

---------- Post added 5th Sep 2014 at 05:34 PM ----------

Came to my senses. Don't get yourself arrested.

 

The note in the above post sounds like a good idea, however, they may not take you seriously and think your parents are just being protective. You need to get a good job, and leave if you can. Ask to st with a trusted friend's family perhaps? Can you go to the library unsupervised? You can use computers there right? Stay strong, and don't even think about suicide for one moment! You are an amazing person, and you will find happiness one day. You just have to keep your head up and not let your parents dictate who you really are. Love you Hugs and kisses.

 

I'm surprised your parents haven't just blocked your access to the Internet, considering how extreme you claim them to be, and how they don't want you "listening to Satan's lies".

I can't really add anything, that somebody else hasn't already said, here, or in other threads. But I do want to point something out to you, as potentially mean as it may sound:

If you have time to complain, you have time to plan.

Start looking up shelters, start looking into laws and regulations for your area, start compiling a list of useful information. Just be sure to clean your History, since your parents, from what you have shared, will look into this. You can continue to wallow in a situation that, quite honestly, is not going to change, or you can begin to bring about that change, that nobody else is going to provide to you.

You can continue to let others control your life, or you can take the reigns. There are ways to get out, you just haven't been pushed towards those directions yet, it seems.

This is going to be... so... deja vu, but... when I used to bully people into sticking around me, I'd make sure to instill into them, this belief, that if they ever turned on me, or got rid of me, that their life would become worse than it was. I have a feeling, either your parents have instilled this into you, or you have reached this conclusion.

You have a psychologist you go to, right? There's one potential escape clause.

I'm going to say it, point blank. If what you say is all true, here, and in those other threads, you have a VERY strong case against your parents. You also have more than enough reasons, to want to get out of that predicament, because as it stands now, you aren't going to find happiness, nor will you find the life that you so desperately seek, by staying where you are.

But whatever you do, don't kill yourself. There is no need to justify their behavior, nor allow it to place another notch on its belt.

Get up, shake that dust off, and live.

 

You find an opportunity to slip out, and go to a bridge, to drink creek water. Yet you-- nevermind.

Okay, how about this?

Do you have a public library? They provide free Internet access.

 

No they cant and No its not.

You are semi right in saying that its your parents house so they can have all these stupid rules, they cant however force you to follow them or prevent you from doing something such as coming and going when you please or buying a phone for yourself. a Phone which they arent allowed to monitor. Yes they can threaten to kick you out but by their own stupid contract that would give you a week to get things sorted.

My advice is as follows. Order a cheap phone with a cheap contract from the internet with your own money. Your parents cant monitor this phone and if they try you can tell them to get stuffed. Again if they kick you out you can show them the contract you were forced to sign. also if they take the phone when It arrives it would be stealing, you then call the cops and show them the receipt, make sure you dont delete the email conformation. Your age is key here.

Use this new phone to contact help, you can even contact one of the many British support groups, they would be able to refer you to an american counterpart. The support group will be able to help you escape, simply tell them your situation and they will help you plan everything out and put it all into action.

You can do a couple of things, you could move to a more forgiving part of the country and star anew (It happens all the time, you would manage). You could spend a while in a hostel or halfway house until you have enough money to move on. Then you could appartment share with someone similar to you who can appreciate what you are going through.

You could think about moving to a completely different country all together, a slightly less advisable plan to start with.

There are ways for you to escape but you need to be brave. We are all thinking of you.

(*hug*)

Btw I have always wondered, what do you use to acess EC?

 

Right so there you have it. You have your way out, you arent trapped. What I mean is that next time you self harm of have those horrid thoughts you have an alternative. There is no need to feel trapped anymore and if things get suicidal again you simply put the plan into action. If you are brave enough to take that step into the twisting nether of death then you might aswell give the plan that involves living a shot first.

Think of your unwillingness to leave as a testament to your belief that humanity can change, not that you are too scared to leave. It seems to me that staying in that hell hole is the braver choice anyway. (*hug*)

 

I agree take everyone's advice

 

Please don't commit suicide... you have your whole life ahead of you! You just have to muster the courage to take the first step and get away from your parents. I still highly suggest going to a trusted friend who's parents would allow you stay with them; The could off some financial port and help you get a job. Stay strong!