First off, my name is Daemon, and I use he/him pronouns. I'm 17 (turning 18 December 6th) and I have a history if depression and self-harm. I've been feeling happier lately since I know my irl friend is like me, and he's been really supportive and has been keeping me happy, which is really awesome! But lately, I've been feeling more down each day and I've been falling deeper into a seemingly bottomless pit of self-hate and I really just feel like crying all the time. I woke up this morning and just started sobbing. To my family, I am a daughter/older sis/younger sis named Cienna. But to myself, in my own eyes, I see myself as Daemon. I live in Canada if that helps at all. I'm honestly terrified to come out to my mom. I'm scared shell say "It's a phase." Or "Don't be silly." Hell, maybe she'll kick me out. I might even be disowned. I feel more accepted at my high school than at home. How do I tell my mom that I'm transgender? I'm terrified to say anything! It's starting to interfere with my schoolwork. Also, I'm not "too young" to know if I'm trans* or not. I've been questioning my gender since I was a kid in the single-number-digits. Lately I've been keeping my hair up in my hat, not wearing makeup and wearing only baggy, loose clothes so I don't show my horrible, feminine parts of my body. I don't have a binder and there's no place where one is available to buy in my city. Why can't I just be accepted at home? Why can't I just be me? I really hate myself because all I've ever been is a giant screw-up. It doesn't help that my family is already using a lot of money to pay the bills, I don't want to cost any more extra! :help:
Hi, nice to meet you Daemon. Although I'm not trans, I do struggle with depression and often hate my body. If you want to come out to your mom as trans, there are two ways. You can ease into. You already said, you try to dress like a boy, so maybe get your family to start using male pronouns and possibly give you a male, a gender neutral nickname. Or, you could tell your mother about your suffering and hope that she understands. Money is usually a big deal when trying to change genders, but if it's for your general happiness and well-being, then your family should be supportive. You could also wait, until you get a job, or a better one if you already have one but everything is your choice.
