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How to go about this (Depression)

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by StillHere, Sep 10, 2014.

  1. StillHere

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    Sorry for the wall of text. And the possible jumpy wording. I just am scatterbrained right now.


    So, to start, I have been reading online and it seems that depression can be someone genetic, which answers some of my questions.

    I'm currently a jounier in a public high school and for the last two years I've been suffering with ups and downs on a somewhat depression spectrum.

    One of the biggest reasons is school. Last year my grades suffered a bit, but this year I'm going to get (mostly ) A's because I need to turn my GPA around and I understand this is the most important year. I am under the impression that my depression, which severely worsens throughout the school year will effect me.

    Outside of school I'm very outgoing when in public with friends and such, but at home I'm depressed, and at school I'm somewhat introverted (depending on class and such.) which I am OK with, but it kind of gives me a lot of time to think and ultimately get depressed.

    I'm very sensitive, the slightest things can throw me extremely off course. Today, specifically my lunch table was full and someone wanted to sit there, they battered a couple of people to leave but in the process asked me to leave because I "never even talk". Which just sent me spiralling throughout the day. (In my defense, I have friends at that table, but all that table does is talk about sports and I don't like sports. My friends understand this and backed me up.) Stuff like that sets me off for a terrible week of just thinking back on that moment. Or if I make a mistake in class for a question, or miss a catch in gym, I contemplate it forever it seems like.

    But other than that school just beats me down steadily and throws me into a deep depression by weeks end. I someone recover over the weekend when I get me time and friend time, but then it just beats me down like a never ending cycle.

    Ultimately I start to see everything as pointless, grades, weight, friendships, everything. I can't handle it for another year. Last year was the year I came out which booted my spirits for around two months and I lost a lot of weight in that time. But here I am again. And it sucks. It's horrible. I just want to cry every minute of the day because nothi matters.

    My deepest depression was around fall last year pre coming out and I planned my suicide and all, I CANT get back in that position because I know it will be the end of me. I don't want that. I really don't. And I'm trying to help myself.

    I want to talk to my doctor about getting antidepressants but it would set my dad off in a frenzy of worry about me. He is the biggest worrier (is that a word?) I have ever known. If I even hint at having a bad day he will freak out for my safety. One time he called the cops because I didn't text him back while driving home. I find myself faking a good mood around him because he has become so god damn irretating. (Which, I understand because I am him son and he cares about me.)

    Is seeing a doctor for antidepressants worth it do you think? Is there any other way? I see my life going downhill fast if I don't do something. I need help, maybe I could get my mom to drive me while my dad is on a business trip.

    Any advise would help, thank you. :icon_sad:
     
  2. confuseduser99

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  3. kyfry

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    I understand how you feel. Ive battled depression and anxiety for the last year and a half. Mine sent me back into the hospital a couple of months ago.

    The fact that you are wanting help is a huge step. I would definitely talk with your doctor. Be open and honest about how you feel. Antidepressants can help but dont always work right away. It could take multiple attempts at different medications before you figure out which one helps you best.

    Getting help from your doctor is only part of your support system. Despite your dad constantly worrying he is part of your support system. His worry for you should show that he loves you and wants you to feel better. My dad was the same way and as much as I thought it was annoying I was glad to have his support.

    Have a friend, family member or even a therapist to talk to helps. If school is one of the things that triggers your depression, talk with one of your consoulers. They could be of help to you as well.

    I hope the best for you. Like my signature below says, "Im pulling for you. We're all in this together."(*hug*)
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    For a young person struggling with depression the school environment is one of the most challenging situations and it's good that you recognise how difficult it is for you. When you are able to identify the significant contributing factors, you stand a better chance of dealing with the depressed feelings, but you'll struggle to do it alone, so do visit your Doctor and talk about everything. It's important to be totally honest with him/her so you get the right treatment.

    Many people take anti-depressants (for a variety of reasons). I've taken anti-depressants in the past and I'd wager that many others on this forum have too. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's nothing for your Dad to worry about either. In fact, you'll be in a safer place with them, than without them. Maybe that will reassure him? Having said that, there is no guarantee that your Doctor will prescribe anti-depressants - it will depend on the diagnosis he/she arrives at during your consultation.

    When you are in a very low place it's most important to talk about how you are feeling. Keeping everything locked up inside will only increase the feelings of sadness and could return you to that despairing place you so want to avoid. If your Doctor recommends talking therapy too, please consider it very carefully.

    Other people, like family and friends can offer good emotional support too and be part of the solution as kyfry mentioned above. Remember, we are also here if you need a bit of extra support. Good luck with everything.
     
  5. shinji

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    Sorry if this might offend someone...

    What i read basically describes my schools years from like grade 8 to 12.

    The problem?

    You think you have depression...

    The real problem?

    You care way too much about the happiness of others.

    Just stop giving a f**k and look out for yourself! Those guys at the table, tell them to screw off... Making a mistake in class, as if no one else does?!

    Suicide? Why?! So you won't burden some random strangers who don't even deserve your respect? Really?! Doing this to your family over such people?... seriously?!

    Trust me when i say this, from the bottom of my heart! STOP GIVING A F**K ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS!!! Be more confident, make them earn your respect...

    Think about it this way, they (guys from school, excluding your friends) are just faces in the crowd that you will never see again after a couple of years. They simply do not matter!

    You are overthinking things... Find a hobby, card games, video games... join a community, get your mind busy with stuff...

    Forcing yourself (and let's not kid ourselves, you are forcing yourself) into depression means that you simply have too much free time on your hands, to overthink such small stuff of your daily life. No one cares... if you did something "wrong", if others don't care why should you?

    I get it... it's somewhat good to feel depressed, to cry alone, when going to sleep... it sort of reliefs the emotional pressure... Know what else does this? Punching the next guy who tries to tell you what to do. Or the next best thing - fitness.

    Don't waste your (or your family's) money on shrinks, they won't help you, they will just "manage" you as best they can... You need to change your perspective on life, meds won't do this for you, parents won't, a doctor won't...even your friends won't. Just change your mindset. It's way easier than you might think, just... stop "re-running" scenarios in your head and understand that there are a lot more important things happening in the world.

    Sorry for not making any sense, this post really gets to me...

    If i could go back in time to when i was in school, there are so many people i would have liked to punch in the face, and so many teachers i would have liked to report to the school board.

    P.S. - punching people in the face is bad... don't do it! Go for the torso, shoulder, schin or... just don't pay attention to them. Obnoxious kids in school who tend to tease / bully other kids are always your average attention seekers... when you just erase them from your mind, as if they are not there... it gets them really mad, trust me! Mad enough to punch you, then you can defend yourself. (!)


    No but seriously, i've given this advice on several occasions... It really works! Getting an "i don't care" attitude. Solves a lot of problems and opens new possibilities. Great for building self confidence!
     
  6. StillHere

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    This makes sense and I've been telling myself that every day. But there is something deeper than that. I understand that I can change what really triggers it by not caring. But even when I'm in a very good time in my life, I have a lurking feelings that nothing matters.

    I'll try my best to adjust myself.