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Just Need Advice

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by beccaboo, Sep 12, 2014.

  1. beccaboo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2014
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I'm 20 years old. In college. I have always been attracted to girls, but sort of dismissed it. I have been in two "serious" relationships with guys, both of which I realized that it just wasn't what I wanted. This past summer, I started a new job, a met a girl. As soon as I saw her I knew I wanted her, so I chased after her hard. She resisted, of course. I was still with my boyfriend of over a year, and there was a 7 year age difference. Long story short, I ended up breaking up with him, and completely fell for her. Unfortunately for me, she got a job offer in a city about an hour away that she just couldn't turn down, which meant she'd have to move. She told me as soon as she put her two weeks notice in that if I wanted to dabble at the idea of a relationship, she'd be okay with that, and that she just wasn't ready to walk away from me. So for a solid week, I was referred for as her "boo," was introduced to family and friends and was simply on cloud nine thinking we were gonna actually try and make this work. In the days leading up to her departure, I could tell she was pulling away from me. There wasn't a lot of communication, she was very quiet, wouldn't look at me. But I ignored it. And I let her leave without knowing what we were, if we were anything. So a couple days went by, and I barely talked to her. I called her that night, knowing in the back of my mind I wasn't going to like the answer to my question, yet still not expecting the answer I was about to receive. I simply told her that I needed something else besides, "Let's see where it goes." I needed to know if there were boundaries or if there was anything really there. Her response, "I can't give you want you want, much less what you deserve." So right then and there, my heart shattered into a billion little pieces. I cried like a little baby...cried myself to sleep that night. I was hurt that SHE of all people would do that to me. I was seriously led on, just to be heartbroken with her being gone less than 48 hours. I felt betrayed, used, walked all over. I was pissed off more than anything else.

    She showed me that I deserved to be treated better than I was being treated. She encouraged me to become a better person. Was never negative...was always building me up. She gave me a new confidence that I didn't even know I could have. When I was with her I was really really happy. And now I know what to look for. Whether it be a guy or a girl. I was prepared to tell my parents about her and move forward with the relationship, and I'm prepared to do that in the future should I find someone else that isn't what my parents are necessarily expecting me to bring home.

    More important than any of the above she showed me who I am. Or who I think I am, anyways. I think I am bisexual. I've never expressed any interest in females to anyone though, and I'm really afraid of reactions and putting myself out there. I want to date girls and guys and just have a good time and find the right person that makes me happy and that I can make happy. Suggestions?
     
  2. ShadowSpirit26

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2013
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    Location:
    IL, United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Just follow your heart. Don't overthink it or worry what others will say or think. Your soulmate is out there, and whether they are a guy or a girl, you'll find that perfect person in time. It may not be easy, mistakes may be made, and unfortunately no one can give you a timeframe for when you'll meet the perfect person for you, but when you do meet that perfect person, all of this will be worth it. Take the knowledge and experience you now have, and always keep it with you. The only thing you can do is go with your heart, get up whenever you fall down no matter how difficult it is to do so, be yourself no matter what, and make the choices that you want instead of making the choices that others want you to make that you don't. That's really all there is to say, so good luck and never give up no matter how hard it gets. Your heart may break countless times, but once you find your soulmate and your soulmate puts your heart back together again and makes you whole, then I guarantee that all the difficulties you face up to that point, will be worth it. Never forget that.